Christmas has come and gone and we survived... Sort of. The Husband, as I type, is laid up in the bed with what I'm going to start referring to as "The Worst Virus Ever" or TWVE which is similar to the virus that struck the 3rd graders during IQ testing-- but worse. Worse because the Husband, unlike the 3rd graders, lives with me and shares a bed and bathroom with me. Needless to say my new best friend is Lysol.
So after pigging out all day, Christmas day, on delicious foods and sweet treats at approximately 1:00am Eastern Standard Time, the Husband fell ill with "The Worse Virus Ever" and from that point forward every hour on the hour up until about 10:00am he regularly 'called dinosaurs.' Unfortunately he was not successful in making contact with them, but he did manage to wake me up...
I had intended to take a nap today, but I keep thinking of new things that I haven't Lysoled yet. My hands are all kinds of chapped because every time I go into the hot zone-- our master bedroom-- I have to scrub up. And it is not like I can just pack him a bag and drop him off with his parents while he rides out TWVE (although the thought did cross my mind) because that is not how it works.
The Husband has a new list of foods he will not eat anymore... sorry Daddy but Fried Turkey is at top of the list. Apparently the flavor of Fried Turkey tastes the same going down as it does coming up and can mask the flavors of asparagus, spaghetti noodles, spaghetti sauce, tenderloin and steak! Good to know, but I'm guessing you as well as the Husband and me didn't need that juicy detail. Sorry for the juicy reference...
I'm going to go check on the sick who is the afflicted. Have a good one y'all.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Christmas Check-Off List..
I had acupuncture today. While Kolleen was taking my pulse-- the customary way we start all my sessions: just after discussing my bowel habits in detail and just before she looks at my tongue's fuzz-- she asked me if I've been having trouble focusing and remembering things. I'm not sure how taking my pulse can tell her these sort of things, but she was spot on. Not only am I having trouble remembering things, but I'm having trouble remembering to remember to do things.
So I'm taking time to do a little reflective Christmas Check-Off List:
basically call up your husband and tell him that you are buying a J. Crew wool coat. It wasn't meant to be a Christmas present, but try explaining that to the Husband...
I sure hope I've not forgotten anything...
So I'm taking time to do a little reflective Christmas Check-Off List:
- Have You Purchased All Your Christmas Presents? Thought so, but after talking to the Sister, I found out that I have at least one more gift to purchase, probably tomorrow, for our Aunt and Uncle as well as finish stocking stuffers for the Husband. Sister is lucky-- she just got married and is basically giving pictures as gifts...or at least that is what I would do if I had just gotten married. In fact, five Christmas' ago I did just that!
- Have You Wrapped All Your Christmas Presents? No. The Christmas Gifts are not wrapped. Although many are. Remember that part above about forgetting things-- I went to Michaels' today-- twice. I was only supposed to go once-- to get what I thought then was the last few Christmas presents and tissue paper so I could start and finish wrapping presents. But I got so distracted from picking out the "last two" presents that I forgot all about the tissue paper until I had paid and was in the parking lot going to the next store for another present that I had forgotten all about. So I had to go back for the tissue paper... So soon, the presents will be wrapped and the mess on my living room floor will be cleared.
- Have You Cleaned the House for Santa? Nope. But the Husband and I are planning to have a small gathering-- mostly our folks and etc., over for dessert and the best hot chocolate ever on Friday night, so probably before then I'll get to mopping and junk. You know Santa doesn't come to messy houses? Right?
- Have You Done Your Holiday Shopping at the Dreaded Grocery Store? Not yet. I'm making a list tonight. I hate going to the grocery store, but I'm thinking that sometime during the day tomorrow it won't be such a pain the ass to go. I read somewhere that you are best prepared to deal with stressful situations first thing in the morning-- I suppose that is why tests (pregnancy and state standardized) are recommended for mornings.
- Have You Baked Anything Yet? Not exactly, but I plan to for the 'Just Desserts' gathering.
- Have You Decorated Your House-- Inside and Out? Yes! We finished last week. I finally broke down and got greenery for the first four windows, wreaths for the kitchen windows and tear drop swags for under the coach lights by the doors. I tied the bows and everything-- even though I don't really know how to properly tie a bow-- it probably has something to do with me being a lefty and that I never took Horticulture I in High School-- who knew that bow-tying was part of the curriculum? From a distance you can't tell and that is all that matters.
- Have You Gotten the Perfect Dirty Santa Gift for Christmas at Grandma's? Yes. I have the best gift E-V-E-R! A pornament from Spencer Gifts-- blown glass and cute as pie-- it's Santa bending over his pile of gifts and his black thong is peaking out along with a tattoo on his cute little butt! I think it is going to be a big hit...
I sure hope I've not forgotten anything...
Friday, December 16, 2011
Just in time for Christmas Vacation...
Christmas Vacation officially started exactly one hour and thirty-six minutes ago. And it is just in time if I do say so myself. It has been a long three weeks with very excited students waiting for Santa and looking for the Elf on the Shelf all over the school.
I'm exhausted and yet, I have a long way to go. I have bought exactly NO presents. We just did get the rest of the decorations up last night, outside! I'm no Scrooge, but I've been having a hard time getting all excited about the hustle and bustle of the Holiday season.
So after I take a nap, I suppose it is time to start getting things all merry and bright.
Stay tuned...
I'm exhausted and yet, I have a long way to go. I have bought exactly NO presents. We just did get the rest of the decorations up last night, outside! I'm no Scrooge, but I've been having a hard time getting all excited about the hustle and bustle of the Holiday season.
So after I take a nap, I suppose it is time to start getting things all merry and bright.
Stay tuned...
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
And the Waiting Ends...sort of...
My period started. Can you feel the relief? I've not been this happy to see a period since that time during my senior year of high school. But we won't go into that right now. Regardless I'm so very happy to get this fertility show on the road...
So the next morning after getting the not-so-monthly-visitor, I called up the friendly RE's office to schedule an appointment.
7:45am. I got Matter-of-Fact Nurse this time. She is very nice, but blunt... which generally I appreciate in a person. She led me back to the examining room, plugs my name into the ultrasound machine. The CNA was putting what must be some sort of condom on the internal probe-- and regardless of how many times I see them do that, it always takes me by surprise.
Minutes later I'm in the stirrups, waiting for the probe. Matter-of-Fact Nurse inserts and up on the screen, next to a bunch of baby follicles is a rather large 4 inch cyst on my left ovary. Funny, I wasn't expecting that. If I had just finished a cycle I would have, but it has been weeks since we've done any sort of cycle. Funny. Ha. Ha. Ha.
So we've got two options... 1) wait this cycle out and hope over time it will go away with my next period or 2) take two weeks worth of birth control pills to try to make the giant disappear. After thinking it over for about two seconds, I told her to get me the pills.
I'm very much against birth control pills. I feel that some, if not a lot, of my condition was made worse by years and years of taking them. But in college, after the scare in high school, I was determined to regulate my period and take away the worry for good. And for someone like me, who hoards stress, less worry was just what I needed-- at the time. Now I have a whole new set of worries. Don't think the irony of the situation is lost on me.
So now I am taking the pill... again. And from there we will try this again, from the top. The good news is that I will be on Christmas break! Don't tell me that God doesn't have a plan greater than mine!
So the next morning after getting the not-so-monthly-visitor, I called up the friendly RE's office to schedule an appointment.
7:45am. I got Matter-of-Fact Nurse this time. She is very nice, but blunt... which generally I appreciate in a person. She led me back to the examining room, plugs my name into the ultrasound machine. The CNA was putting what must be some sort of condom on the internal probe-- and regardless of how many times I see them do that, it always takes me by surprise.
Minutes later I'm in the stirrups, waiting for the probe. Matter-of-Fact Nurse inserts and up on the screen, next to a bunch of baby follicles is a rather large 4 inch cyst on my left ovary. Funny, I wasn't expecting that. If I had just finished a cycle I would have, but it has been weeks since we've done any sort of cycle. Funny. Ha. Ha. Ha.
So we've got two options... 1) wait this cycle out and hope over time it will go away with my next period or 2) take two weeks worth of birth control pills to try to make the giant disappear. After thinking it over for about two seconds, I told her to get me the pills.
I'm very much against birth control pills. I feel that some, if not a lot, of my condition was made worse by years and years of taking them. But in college, after the scare in high school, I was determined to regulate my period and take away the worry for good. And for someone like me, who hoards stress, less worry was just what I needed-- at the time. Now I have a whole new set of worries. Don't think the irony of the situation is lost on me.
So now I am taking the pill... again. And from there we will try this again, from the top. The good news is that I will be on Christmas break! Don't tell me that God doesn't have a plan greater than mine!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Southern Living Should Hire Me--Seriously...
So I'm thinking of sending these pictures to Southern Living. I'm not going to brag or anything, but I think I do a great job decorating trees and possibly a better job than the people who currently are decorating for them and maybe they'd like to hire me???
Decorating trees was a talent that I didn't know I had until I got married. Up until then, I let my mom do the decorating. I had absolutely no interest in putting ornaments or ribbon on a tree and frankly I didn't understand why so many people, namely my mother-in-law, got their panties in a wad about Christmas decorations and Christmas trees in the first place.
But then I got a tree of my very own... with decorations of my very own and of my choosing. And a new addiction was born.
This year our house looks like a damned florist showroom. Two full-sized live trees are in our living room and foyer and the cheap white artificial tree from the Dollar General is greeting our backdoor guests in the back entry. For a while there I thought that my house along with myself would be permanently covered in glitter and I began to understand why back in 2001 my mother banned glitter from my possession and threatened to cut me off financially if I ever dared bring that crap back into her house. Glitter is everywhere... I literally found it in my Kleenex after blowing my nose--you know you look at your snot too.
Regardless, before you view these pictures, keep a couple things in mind. Mainly, we have not been in the dream house for long... so don't expect architectural digest quality furnishings. Currently we've decorated in the style of "early attic" and over the coming months and years that will change.
Secondly, please remember that I'm not a photographer, regardless of how well I did in a black and white photography class in undergrad. These were taken with my point and shoot Cannon after a very long day at work so bare with me...
Finally, keep in mind that my decorating style for the interior of my house is somewhere between modern-contemporary and traditional and I believe, firmly, that less is more-- except when it comes to my Christmas trees. I believe in excess... over-the-top, jammed-packed-full of spirited goodness when it comes to my trees. And if you want to argue the point with me that too-full trees are just too much, please let me point out that having a tree in your house is an already out-there concept so why not just dive in and go crazy. This is the one time of year when more is completely acceptable!
Decorating trees was a talent that I didn't know I had until I got married. Up until then, I let my mom do the decorating. I had absolutely no interest in putting ornaments or ribbon on a tree and frankly I didn't understand why so many people, namely my mother-in-law, got their panties in a wad about Christmas decorations and Christmas trees in the first place.
But then I got a tree of my very own... with decorations of my very own and of my choosing. And a new addiction was born.
This year our house looks like a damned florist showroom. Two full-sized live trees are in our living room and foyer and the cheap white artificial tree from the Dollar General is greeting our backdoor guests in the back entry. For a while there I thought that my house along with myself would be permanently covered in glitter and I began to understand why back in 2001 my mother banned glitter from my possession and threatened to cut me off financially if I ever dared bring that crap back into her house. Glitter is everywhere... I literally found it in my Kleenex after blowing my nose--you know you look at your snot too.
Regardless, before you view these pictures, keep a couple things in mind. Mainly, we have not been in the dream house for long... so don't expect architectural digest quality furnishings. Currently we've decorated in the style of "early attic" and over the coming months and years that will change.
Secondly, please remember that I'm not a photographer, regardless of how well I did in a black and white photography class in undergrad. These were taken with my point and shoot Cannon after a very long day at work so bare with me...
Finally, keep in mind that my decorating style for the interior of my house is somewhere between modern-contemporary and traditional and I believe, firmly, that less is more-- except when it comes to my Christmas trees. I believe in excess... over-the-top, jammed-packed-full of spirited goodness when it comes to my trees. And if you want to argue the point with me that too-full trees are just too much, please let me point out that having a tree in your house is an already out-there concept so why not just dive in and go crazy. This is the one time of year when more is completely acceptable!
Enjoy...
The Memory Tree
The big tree in the foyer is my stab at traditional red and green Christmas. I like to think of this tree as our memory tree. Each year I add a new framed picture to our tree of our Christmas card (this year makes 5 married Christmas' together) and each year I add a new Radko ornament that my grandmother gives us as a present from the year before. I also use burlap on my tree as a homage to our livelihood--tobacco farming. My tree skirt is an actual tobacco sheet-- and reminds me of when I was little sheeting tobacco on my daddy's farm with my whole family. Husband still grows tobacco and I love how I was able to incorporate our background and culture into this tree.
The big tree in the foyer is my stab at traditional red and green Christmas. I like to think of this tree as our memory tree. Each year I add a new framed picture to our tree of our Christmas card (this year makes 5 married Christmas' together) and each year I add a new Radko ornament that my grandmother gives us as a present from the year before. I also use burlap on my tree as a homage to our livelihood--tobacco farming. My tree skirt is an actual tobacco sheet-- and reminds me of when I was little sheeting tobacco on my daddy's farm with my whole family. Husband still grows tobacco and I love how I was able to incorporate our background and culture into this tree.
Please excuse the bare walls. After Christmas I plan on having a metallic wallpaper hung to tie in the metallic paint in the dinning room in with the rest of the house.
The Safari Tree in the Living Room
Last year I knew, even though we had not started building yet, that I wanted to do blue and browns in my living room. And so last year at an after-Christmas sale at Dewayne's I stocked up on blue, gold and brown ornaments. This tree is the "Safari" tree because I have all sorts of subtle animal references throughout. The ribbon is a mix of gold and glittery cheetah print & velvet-y brown and cream zebra print. Pheasant feathers and blue rooster feathers are throughout and tucked into branches are balls covered in pheasant and peacock feathers. The colors go great with what little decor I have. You'll notice some burgundy chairs peaking in my pictures-- don't worry they will be blue, green and brown stripes soon!
For this particular tree I did not use a topper. Instead I used feathers, artificial brown hydrangeas and loops of ribbon to create the illusion of a tree topper.
The Naughty Tree
This tree was purchased at a Dollar General 5 years ago for about 30 bucks. It is bare and cheap, but a dream to decorate. Because it is just about hollow I basically dump ornaments of various shapes, sizes and texture into the bald spots and then when I think the the tree can't hold anymore items I start stuffing in more things. Those of you that are super critical will notice that the bottom is barely lit because Christmas lights hate me and burnt out already. But I think the tree still looks good and fun.
You'll notice that for all of my tree skirts I've swaddled some sort of fabric around each base or trunk. I simply go to the local fabric store and purchase about two yards of a good quality fabric that will compliment my decorations. I prefer this method of dressing my tree trunk for two reasons-- no sewing and it adds to the lushness of my decorations
I hope that you enjoyed my trees.
Maybe I'll get some more pictures in the days and weeks to come. I hope you are enjoying your Christmas decorating... for now I've got to start working on Christmas Cards!
Merry! Merry! Everyone!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Wait for it...
I'm anxiously awaiting my period to start. Having been prescribed Provera to bring on a period and nothing happening south of the border, I'm a little worried. I've read online that it can take some time... like anywhere between 7 to 14 days. And even though I'm well within that 14 day window, I'm ready to get this period going.
I had a little fantasy that we'd be back in the RE's office doing our last-ditch-effort-before-IVF-cycle right around Thanksgiving and that we'd be looking at our first postive pregnancy test just in time for Christmas. Talk about a great Christmas present! But my body, as always, is doing it's own thing.
And it probably is for the best-- I've been super busy at work. I even had to cancel a much needed acupunture appointment because of all the maddness... at least for this last week I've had no time for early morning RE probes and blood draws.
But speaking of blood drawing... I had a sort of physical yesterday at home. A few days ago the Husband and I decided it was time for me to get more life insurance, so the insurance company sent this cute little lady out to draw my blood, ask one hundred probing questions, and make me pee in a cup. Just when I thought my veins would be safe for at least a few more days, there she was with her little butterfly needles and blood viles.
Yuck. But I'm anxious to see if everything checks out. I was shocked to see that my weight has dipped considerably more than I thought it had. Eating healthy has really paid off. All the happy weight I gained over the last four years has been shed and for the first time since I can remember I don't complain of feeling so bad all the time... and my size 00 fit again.
Who would have thunk it?
Regardless, I'm sure that in the next couple of days my sometimes-monthly-friend will come back into my life and my regular visits with the RE and his probe will resume. For now I'm appreciating God's plan for my life and taking things one day at a time.
I had a little fantasy that we'd be back in the RE's office doing our last-ditch-effort-before-IVF-cycle right around Thanksgiving and that we'd be looking at our first postive pregnancy test just in time for Christmas. Talk about a great Christmas present! But my body, as always, is doing it's own thing.
And it probably is for the best-- I've been super busy at work. I even had to cancel a much needed acupunture appointment because of all the maddness... at least for this last week I've had no time for early morning RE probes and blood draws.
But speaking of blood drawing... I had a sort of physical yesterday at home. A few days ago the Husband and I decided it was time for me to get more life insurance, so the insurance company sent this cute little lady out to draw my blood, ask one hundred probing questions, and make me pee in a cup. Just when I thought my veins would be safe for at least a few more days, there she was with her little butterfly needles and blood viles.
Yuck. But I'm anxious to see if everything checks out. I was shocked to see that my weight has dipped considerably more than I thought it had. Eating healthy has really paid off. All the happy weight I gained over the last four years has been shed and for the first time since I can remember I don't complain of feeling so bad all the time... and my size 00 fit again.
Who would have thunk it?
Regardless, I'm sure that in the next couple of days my sometimes-monthly-friend will come back into my life and my regular visits with the RE and his probe will resume. For now I'm appreciating God's plan for my life and taking things one day at a time.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
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Monday, November 14, 2011
Here Comes the Holidays...
I'm so excited about the Holidays and with Thanksgiving being tomorrow(!) that means only one thing... The holidays are here!
I don't know when it happened, but suddenly Thanksgiving has became the gateway to the Christmas Season. Black Friday gets more press than Thanksgiving... and at this rate, many of you are already preparing to cut short spending time with your family to start grabbing up gifts as deeply discounted prices. After-Thanksgiving-Shopping has became as much a tradition as the Thanksgiving meal itself.
I'm not much of a shopper. Don't get me wrong, I love shopping, but I'm not into big crowds or fighting for deals... I love to save money, but getting up at 12am to get a 42 inch flat screen TV for 200 bucks isn't high on my priority list.
The Husband and I have came up with some holiday traditions of our own over the 4 years that we've been married. We don't have children yet, and once we do I'm sure that some of our traditions will change. We may swap out watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation for something a little more kid friendly, although I'd really hate to see that change. I can't say that once we do have children that I won't be tempted into getting up early on Black Friday to make sure that my special little one gets the new hot toy on Christmas morning. But for now the Husband and I have our routines and tradition pretty well mapped out.
Tonight we are going to celebrate with my family. My mom is cooking up a fabulous meal. My sister and I have made desserts--- my famous cheesecake and her flour less chocolate cake that her husband loves. I'm so looking forward to hanging out and relaxing with my family! Tomorrow I'm sure we'll end up at lunch eating with the Husband's family. His grandfather is very sick, still, so I'm not sure what the holidays are going to look like exactly. We may be eating Turkey subs or something similar in the hospital, but at least we will be together. Thanksgiving afternoon will be spent with my dad's people... my grandmother and aunts and uncles and crazy cousins. It will be great and loud and chaotic!
But Thanksgiving night is always spent watching our favorite Christmas movies and cuddling up on the couch. We drag out the Christmas decorations and start getting things ready. Working for the school system gives me 3 days without work. So when everyone else is out shopping I'm sitting at home decorating... making my home ready.
This year is going to be different. We are in the dream house now. I'm sure that in years to come things will be much more complete, but this year we are going to enjoy what we have and make it work! I'm excited for what is to come and I'm so thankful for every blessing that has been rained down into our lives!
This year I don't want to get caught up in all the hoopla of the holidays. I want to take time to appreciate those that matter and enjoy all the good things that this season brings. I hope that you have someone special to spend the holidays with... that you have friends and family to round up! Thanksgiving only comes once a year, but we can be thankful every day...
Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!
I don't know when it happened, but suddenly Thanksgiving has became the gateway to the Christmas Season. Black Friday gets more press than Thanksgiving... and at this rate, many of you are already preparing to cut short spending time with your family to start grabbing up gifts as deeply discounted prices. After-Thanksgiving-Shopping has became as much a tradition as the Thanksgiving meal itself.
I'm not much of a shopper. Don't get me wrong, I love shopping, but I'm not into big crowds or fighting for deals... I love to save money, but getting up at 12am to get a 42 inch flat screen TV for 200 bucks isn't high on my priority list.
The Husband and I have came up with some holiday traditions of our own over the 4 years that we've been married. We don't have children yet, and once we do I'm sure that some of our traditions will change. We may swap out watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation for something a little more kid friendly, although I'd really hate to see that change. I can't say that once we do have children that I won't be tempted into getting up early on Black Friday to make sure that my special little one gets the new hot toy on Christmas morning. But for now the Husband and I have our routines and tradition pretty well mapped out.
Tonight we are going to celebrate with my family. My mom is cooking up a fabulous meal. My sister and I have made desserts--- my famous cheesecake and her flour less chocolate cake that her husband loves. I'm so looking forward to hanging out and relaxing with my family! Tomorrow I'm sure we'll end up at lunch eating with the Husband's family. His grandfather is very sick, still, so I'm not sure what the holidays are going to look like exactly. We may be eating Turkey subs or something similar in the hospital, but at least we will be together. Thanksgiving afternoon will be spent with my dad's people... my grandmother and aunts and uncles and crazy cousins. It will be great and loud and chaotic!
But Thanksgiving night is always spent watching our favorite Christmas movies and cuddling up on the couch. We drag out the Christmas decorations and start getting things ready. Working for the school system gives me 3 days without work. So when everyone else is out shopping I'm sitting at home decorating... making my home ready.
This year is going to be different. We are in the dream house now. I'm sure that in years to come things will be much more complete, but this year we are going to enjoy what we have and make it work! I'm excited for what is to come and I'm so thankful for every blessing that has been rained down into our lives!
This year I don't want to get caught up in all the hoopla of the holidays. I want to take time to appreciate those that matter and enjoy all the good things that this season brings. I hope that you have someone special to spend the holidays with... that you have friends and family to round up! Thanksgiving only comes once a year, but we can be thankful every day...
Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
This kid...
Monday I took the day from work to meet with my regular RE. The appointment was scheduled to last for less than 30 minutes, but I was sort of worried about how I'd react to the "whatever" he suggested we do next on this infertility journey we are currently on, so I took the entire day from work. It was just bonus that I happen to be sick and could lay around the house for another day.
My doctor wants to keep things like they are for at least one more cycle and if this cycle doesn't work- then we go forward with IVF. Seems fair, considering that all our tests are normal and everything is in working order. The doctor actually said it looks like we've just had some bad luck. Not to mention all the stress-- my sister's killer wedding, Husband's grandfather getting deathly sick, my grandmother getting sick and entering the assisted living facility, our jobs, building the dream house...
Regardless my husband knows how to make me laugh... on the way out of the RE's office, while driving to McDonald's for a late breakfast he looked at me and said, "this kid better cure cancer." I cracked up picturing in my head the little oneise I'd have printed with that slogan on it.
It was the perfect end to a not so horrible meeting with my super talented RE.
My doctor wants to keep things like they are for at least one more cycle and if this cycle doesn't work- then we go forward with IVF. Seems fair, considering that all our tests are normal and everything is in working order. The doctor actually said it looks like we've just had some bad luck. Not to mention all the stress-- my sister's killer wedding, Husband's grandfather getting deathly sick, my grandmother getting sick and entering the assisted living facility, our jobs, building the dream house...
Regardless my husband knows how to make me laugh... on the way out of the RE's office, while driving to McDonald's for a late breakfast he looked at me and said, "this kid better cure cancer." I cracked up picturing in my head the little oneise I'd have printed with that slogan on it.
It was the perfect end to a not so horrible meeting with my super talented RE.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Sick...
Friday morning a blinding light flooded into my bedroom. I awoke. Angry and confused I looked over at the Husband who had just flopped back into bed. What is the bathroom light doing on? His reply was that it was so dark he couldn't possibly make it the 10 feet or so from the bathroom to the bed without having some sort of light to guide the journey. Are you going to leave it on? He was was. What did it matter anyway, it was only a "little light."
Sure.
As I got out of my perfectly warm bed to turn off the "little light" and walk, in the complete darkness, back to bed (safely I might add) I realized that I was getting sick. I had all the symptoms-- the stuffy nose, the sore throat, the headache...
Perfect.
Long story short-- I have a cold. Sunday was the worst. My entire head hurt-- including the roots of my hair.
I've laid around for two days straight and I'm hoping the rest will have done me some good. I go back to work tomorrow and I'd hate to be all snotty, spreading germs all over school.
Sure.
As I got out of my perfectly warm bed to turn off the "little light" and walk, in the complete darkness, back to bed (safely I might add) I realized that I was getting sick. I had all the symptoms-- the stuffy nose, the sore throat, the headache...
Perfect.
Long story short-- I have a cold. Sunday was the worst. My entire head hurt-- including the roots of my hair.
I've laid around for two days straight and I'm hoping the rest will have done me some good. I go back to work tomorrow and I'd hate to be all snotty, spreading germs all over school.
Monday, October 31, 2011
29 Things to be Happy About...
I turned 29 on the 29th and that got me thinking... a new year, a new attitude, and with plenty of things to look forward to in the coming 365 days
Here's to...
1. Decorating our new house
2. Good healthy food
3. Daily prayer, written in my journal
4. Business ventures with my friend Olivia
5. Business ventures with the Husband
6. Learning to love yard work!
7. Making time for friends
8. Professional Wedding Direction
9. Creative outlets
10. Organization at work
11. Organization at home
12. Acupuncture
13. Spending time with family
14. Spending time with the Husband in our new house!
15. Positive thinking
16. Learning to say No and meaning it!
17. Taking time to just enjoy life
18. Learning to use my new Cricut machine
19. Saving money
20. Good conversation
21. Eating in (increasing my cooking menu)
22. Exercising
23. Less stress
24. Learning to sew
25. Convincing the Husband to let me plan his 30th birthday party
26. Planning my Very Scary 30th Birthday party for next year!
27. Trying new things
28. Working on a the Baby project 2012
29. Finding time for the important things!
Sounds like I've got quiet a year ahead of me... I hope that each of you has something special in mind for your year!
Here's to...
1. Decorating our new house
2. Good healthy food
3. Daily prayer, written in my journal
4. Business ventures with my friend Olivia
5. Business ventures with the Husband
6. Learning to love yard work!
7. Making time for friends
8. Professional Wedding Direction
9. Creative outlets
10. Organization at work
11. Organization at home
12. Acupuncture
13. Spending time with family
14. Spending time with the Husband in our new house!
15. Positive thinking
16. Learning to say No and meaning it!
17. Taking time to just enjoy life
18. Learning to use my new Cricut machine
19. Saving money
20. Good conversation
21. Eating in (increasing my cooking menu)
22. Exercising
23. Less stress
24. Learning to sew
25. Convincing the Husband to let me plan his 30th birthday party
26. Planning my Very Scary 30th Birthday party for next year!
27. Trying new things
28. Working on a the Baby project 2012
29. Finding time for the important things!
Sounds like I've got quiet a year ahead of me... I hope that each of you has something special in mind for your year!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
For whatever reason, probably disappointment, I've had a hard time finding the words to actually finish this blog entry. Friday was 'the day' and for the last two weeks I was anxiously awaiting Friday with excitement and dread. I find it amusing that for the first half of my cycle I'm so optimistic and positive-- upbeat even-- then for the rest of my cycle I'm a mess of nerves and doubt.
This cycle was a little different because I had to use progesterone supplements which gave me some side effects I wasn't expecting, which made me wonder-- 'am I?' But by Friday I had basically decided that I was not. And man, I hate being right all the time.
And I wasn't even that shocked on Friday morning. Sometimes I think I handle this infertility issue too well. But I was proud of myself for getting up the courage to pee on the dreaded pee stick that morning and not putting it off a moment longer, like I really wanted to.
I was like, "Emily, go ahead and just do it. If it is positive then you can call and get a blood test. If it is negative then you can call and get a follow up appointment with Dr. Meyer. Man up!"
It was the adult thing to do really. So Friday morning I peed on the stick. I was so sleepy that I almost forgot about the whole pee stick thing. I did my business, christened the stick and went back to bed. Eventually I went and checked the window. Negative.
Damn.
I went back to bed. At work, I called the RE's office and talked to the receptionist. The receptionist also works at the bridal boutique where I bought my wedding dress and happens to be the lady that helped me find my dress... I find it comforting that she is present at all my adult milestones.
So the Husband and I have a follow-up appointment in less than two weeks with Dr. Meyer. I'm expecting him to push for more intensive interventions and more testing. I recently had an HSG test which came up clear, except that my uterus is basically upside down... and even though I was concerned and thought that that was unique, apparently it is no big deal. In fact, everything is 'good under the hood.'
I'm not sure what is next, but I'm hopeful and I'm filled with nervous excitement, strangely enough, over what we will find out. In the meantime, I'm going to take some time to enjoy all the things that there is to enjoy!
This cycle was a little different because I had to use progesterone supplements which gave me some side effects I wasn't expecting, which made me wonder-- 'am I?' But by Friday I had basically decided that I was not. And man, I hate being right all the time.
And I wasn't even that shocked on Friday morning. Sometimes I think I handle this infertility issue too well. But I was proud of myself for getting up the courage to pee on the dreaded pee stick that morning and not putting it off a moment longer, like I really wanted to.
I was like, "Emily, go ahead and just do it. If it is positive then you can call and get a blood test. If it is negative then you can call and get a follow up appointment with Dr. Meyer. Man up!"
It was the adult thing to do really. So Friday morning I peed on the stick. I was so sleepy that I almost forgot about the whole pee stick thing. I did my business, christened the stick and went back to bed. Eventually I went and checked the window. Negative.
Damn.
I went back to bed. At work, I called the RE's office and talked to the receptionist. The receptionist also works at the bridal boutique where I bought my wedding dress and happens to be the lady that helped me find my dress... I find it comforting that she is present at all my adult milestones.
So the Husband and I have a follow-up appointment in less than two weeks with Dr. Meyer. I'm expecting him to push for more intensive interventions and more testing. I recently had an HSG test which came up clear, except that my uterus is basically upside down... and even though I was concerned and thought that that was unique, apparently it is no big deal. In fact, everything is 'good under the hood.'
I'm not sure what is next, but I'm hopeful and I'm filled with nervous excitement, strangely enough, over what we will find out. In the meantime, I'm going to take some time to enjoy all the things that there is to enjoy!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Talking to God and Good Friends...
Lately, well for the longest time... I've found it hard to pray. I used to be so good at it. I'd get all comfy in my bed and start my long rambling dialogue with God... in my head of course. But then I got all happy and all the fear that seemed to drive a lot of my prayers back then went away and my nightly dialogue became less of a nightly occurrence. And pretty soon, when I'd get all comfy and ready to start my nightly dialogue... I'd find myself distracted or too sleepy or it would be just too hard. Quieting my mind became a hard thing to do. To focus. To pray.
In one of my many conversations with my dear friend Olivia she mentioned that she kept a prayer journal. Great idea! As most of her ideas are. She pointed out that keeping this journal was a good way to reflect on how God works in our lives. I loved that idea... I so desperately want a better relationship with God and His Son... and I know that prayer is the best way to facilitate that relationship.
For some time now I've felt that God was sort of like a relative that I loved dearly but never saw and rarely missed... someone I took for granted. God was there... and if I ever needed Him, I'd know where to find Him. And that is the great thing about God. He is there when you need Him... but lately I've started to see that I need Him everyday, not just when I'm in crisis... or upset... or comfy.
So I took my dear friends' idea and started to write a daily letter to God. I've got to be honest... some days my letter doesn't happen. But most of the time it does. And the amazing thing is, I feel myself letting my faith grow. My worries are less... and even though I still have my worries, my fears-- that I'll never get pregnant or that my eggs are bad or that I'm just not good enough at anything I do-- I'm learning to put those fears and worries with the Lord and going on about my day. The crazy part is, I'm thinking those thoughts less and less... I find myself trying to hear that quiet voice... I'm looking for the deeper meaning in the world around me. I'm learning to appreciate all the many blessings I have been blessed with... and I'm learning to be patient for the blessing yet to come.
My faith is growing and moreover I hope that my relationships-- heavenly and earthbound-- are growing too.
I feel myself becoming more... more responsible... more organized... just more. On Sunday, another dear friend, Cherish sent me an email. She had me on her mind. I had a test run on Friday at my RE's office-- an HSG test. I had talked to her, earlier in the week about my fears that something might be wrong with me. My worries over not getting pregnant. My fear that this test would hurt (it did, a little). On Sunday she sent me an email of encouragement...an email about happiness. The kind of happiness that is deep and lasting... even when things aren't going specifically our way. She pointed out and reminded me that this trial was only strengthening my relationship with my husband, taking my marriage to a deeper level and moreover, strengthening my relationship with God. It was a reminder to pray. A reminder to have faith. To be positive.
Thank God for people like Cherish. Thank goodness God sees fit to send messages through people like Cherish. Sometimes it just feels so good to have people in your life that know exactly what to say when you need to hear it the most. And in my mind this was just another way God is sending me a message... have faith. Be patient.
I hear the words that have been spoken to me over and over during my childhood-- "good things come to those who wait."
In the meantime, I'm praying. I'm putting the worry and the doubt in God's capable hands and I'm living my life and trying to enjoy the blessing that are all around me... right now! Each morning, that I can, I'm writing my letters to God and looking for the meaning in my days and nights.
As I conclude this entry, I find myself overwhelmed. Overwhelmed and content... and hopeful.
In one of my many conversations with my dear friend Olivia she mentioned that she kept a prayer journal. Great idea! As most of her ideas are. She pointed out that keeping this journal was a good way to reflect on how God works in our lives. I loved that idea... I so desperately want a better relationship with God and His Son... and I know that prayer is the best way to facilitate that relationship.
For some time now I've felt that God was sort of like a relative that I loved dearly but never saw and rarely missed... someone I took for granted. God was there... and if I ever needed Him, I'd know where to find Him. And that is the great thing about God. He is there when you need Him... but lately I've started to see that I need Him everyday, not just when I'm in crisis... or upset... or comfy.
So I took my dear friends' idea and started to write a daily letter to God. I've got to be honest... some days my letter doesn't happen. But most of the time it does. And the amazing thing is, I feel myself letting my faith grow. My worries are less... and even though I still have my worries, my fears-- that I'll never get pregnant or that my eggs are bad or that I'm just not good enough at anything I do-- I'm learning to put those fears and worries with the Lord and going on about my day. The crazy part is, I'm thinking those thoughts less and less... I find myself trying to hear that quiet voice... I'm looking for the deeper meaning in the world around me. I'm learning to appreciate all the many blessings I have been blessed with... and I'm learning to be patient for the blessing yet to come.
My faith is growing and moreover I hope that my relationships-- heavenly and earthbound-- are growing too.
I feel myself becoming more... more responsible... more organized... just more. On Sunday, another dear friend, Cherish sent me an email. She had me on her mind. I had a test run on Friday at my RE's office-- an HSG test. I had talked to her, earlier in the week about my fears that something might be wrong with me. My worries over not getting pregnant. My fear that this test would hurt (it did, a little). On Sunday she sent me an email of encouragement...an email about happiness. The kind of happiness that is deep and lasting... even when things aren't going specifically our way. She pointed out and reminded me that this trial was only strengthening my relationship with my husband, taking my marriage to a deeper level and moreover, strengthening my relationship with God. It was a reminder to pray. A reminder to have faith. To be positive.
Thank God for people like Cherish. Thank goodness God sees fit to send messages through people like Cherish. Sometimes it just feels so good to have people in your life that know exactly what to say when you need to hear it the most. And in my mind this was just another way God is sending me a message... have faith. Be patient.
I hear the words that have been spoken to me over and over during my childhood-- "good things come to those who wait."
In the meantime, I'm praying. I'm putting the worry and the doubt in God's capable hands and I'm living my life and trying to enjoy the blessing that are all around me... right now! Each morning, that I can, I'm writing my letters to God and looking for the meaning in my days and nights.
As I conclude this entry, I find myself overwhelmed. Overwhelmed and content... and hopeful.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
It's Been a While..
It's been a while. But so much has been going on, I've found that there isn't much time to blog. So here I go, attempting to fill everyone in... Bare with me.
1. My sister's wedding was weekend before last. The seige has ended and life is sort of going back to normal.
2. The very day after my sister's wedding Husband's grandfather became very ill in the hospital and the family was called in to say our goodbyes. Thankfully, the doctors were proactive and he is doing worlds better-- PRAYER WORKS!
3. Work is crazy. Besides have new duties on my plate, I've got a class this year that is killing me emotionally. I have two students that cry every afternoon, regardless of the situation. There is no making them happy! Did I mention that they are 10 years old???
4. I'm in decorating mode. I've not been blogging but I've picked up a few blogs to follow all about decorating and photography.
5. My new couch comes Tuesday-- one that I ordered in June and was supposed to be here weeks ago-- and now I'm interested in looking at fabrics... lots and lots of fabrics!
6. Acupuncture is going great! I highly recommend it to anyone that doesn't deal with stress or just needs an hour to clear your mind, pray, and just be quiet. I'm loving it!
7. After Husband's meltdown about me hiding his mail, I've ordered a beautiful wooden wall pocket from Ballard Designs and low and behold, it is helping me make sense of our mail-paper problem! Yea for organization!
8. I also ordered a metal boot tray for our back entry... Husband's work boots and sneakers look so nice lined up, neatly by the door! Maybe Husband's meltdown wasn't such a bad thing after all!
9. I've been sucked into serving on yet another board position for a not-for-profit organization. This time it is work related. The one organization that I thought wouldn't want me because I don't have children, sought me out. I can't say no.
10. I have a class that calls me, "Pretty Girl" and ask their teacher, "is the Pretty Girl coming to see us today?" I love that class and I think I need to move my desk into that room. What a self-esteem boost! Did I mention that they are 5???
11. I've completely turned my life around and I am on a health kick. I have stopped eating sugar basically (occasionally I eat a sugary dessert-- but rarely). I have started eating fruit. For years I've lived in fear of eating fruit because of the texture, but I've completely overcame it and today I found myself craving the fruit cup at Chick-Fila. I also have stopped eating white breads and increased my whole grains... and again, low and behold, I feel great! Not to mention that my digestive system is performing like a well-oiled machine... something I've never experienced due to my poor diet. Because I feel good, sticking to this new kick has been super easy.
And that brings just about everything up to speed. I'll talk about some of these things in more detail, especially when I have some pictures-- like of the wedding, not my digestive system!
Have a good weekend!
1. My sister's wedding was weekend before last. The seige has ended and life is sort of going back to normal.
2. The very day after my sister's wedding Husband's grandfather became very ill in the hospital and the family was called in to say our goodbyes. Thankfully, the doctors were proactive and he is doing worlds better-- PRAYER WORKS!
3. Work is crazy. Besides have new duties on my plate, I've got a class this year that is killing me emotionally. I have two students that cry every afternoon, regardless of the situation. There is no making them happy! Did I mention that they are 10 years old???
4. I'm in decorating mode. I've not been blogging but I've picked up a few blogs to follow all about decorating and photography.
5. My new couch comes Tuesday-- one that I ordered in June and was supposed to be here weeks ago-- and now I'm interested in looking at fabrics... lots and lots of fabrics!
6. Acupuncture is going great! I highly recommend it to anyone that doesn't deal with stress or just needs an hour to clear your mind, pray, and just be quiet. I'm loving it!
7. After Husband's meltdown about me hiding his mail, I've ordered a beautiful wooden wall pocket from Ballard Designs and low and behold, it is helping me make sense of our mail-paper problem! Yea for organization!
8. I also ordered a metal boot tray for our back entry... Husband's work boots and sneakers look so nice lined up, neatly by the door! Maybe Husband's meltdown wasn't such a bad thing after all!
9. I've been sucked into serving on yet another board position for a not-for-profit organization. This time it is work related. The one organization that I thought wouldn't want me because I don't have children, sought me out. I can't say no.
10. I have a class that calls me, "Pretty Girl" and ask their teacher, "is the Pretty Girl coming to see us today?" I love that class and I think I need to move my desk into that room. What a self-esteem boost! Did I mention that they are 5???
11. I've completely turned my life around and I am on a health kick. I have stopped eating sugar basically (occasionally I eat a sugary dessert-- but rarely). I have started eating fruit. For years I've lived in fear of eating fruit because of the texture, but I've completely overcame it and today I found myself craving the fruit cup at Chick-Fila. I also have stopped eating white breads and increased my whole grains... and again, low and behold, I feel great! Not to mention that my digestive system is performing like a well-oiled machine... something I've never experienced due to my poor diet. Because I feel good, sticking to this new kick has been super easy.
And that brings just about everything up to speed. I'll talk about some of these things in more detail, especially when I have some pictures-- like of the wedding, not my digestive system!
Have a good weekend!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Acupuncture...
I have not been back at work for even close to a week and I'm already taking a 1/2 sick day. All last week I tried my darnedest to get an appointment for acupuncture... After a few weeks of research and reading one book that recommended it I worked up the nerve to call because I think that acupuncture just might be the ticket, especially since I'm anticipating a very stressful work year.
So I got an appointment for last week and then the very day that I was to go, the acupuncturist got sick and so I was put off until this week. Story of my life. Which means I had to take a half day so I could get in my first appointment. Who knew making time for myself is causing me guilt and stress???
I leave for the appointment in less than an hour and so far I'm not nervous. Just a few months ago the ideas of needles of any kind being jammed into my body sent shivers down my spine. Now, after months of needle stabs, jabs, and pricks, I'm thinking this is going to be easy.
The first appointment is going to take over an hour... not sure why but I've already had to fill out virtually a novel of background information.
I'll keep you posted on how it goes...
So I got an appointment for last week and then the very day that I was to go, the acupuncturist got sick and so I was put off until this week. Story of my life. Which means I had to take a half day so I could get in my first appointment. Who knew making time for myself is causing me guilt and stress???
I leave for the appointment in less than an hour and so far I'm not nervous. Just a few months ago the ideas of needles of any kind being jammed into my body sent shivers down my spine. Now, after months of needle stabs, jabs, and pricks, I'm thinking this is going to be easy.
The first appointment is going to take over an hour... not sure why but I've already had to fill out virtually a novel of background information.
I'll keep you posted on how it goes...
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
A Long Justification for Purchasing a Dress for My Closet...
In an effort to be more fiscally responsible and to actually wear the clothing I already own, I announced to Husband this past weekend that I would be (gasp!) re-wearing a dress to the engagement party we have to attend this upcoming weekend. I think I was high on the doughnuts (see previous post).
I rarely ever wear one of my dresses more than once. I blame it on proximity really... we socialize with the same people all the time, so once a dress is worn, it has basically been "seen" by everyone. As I mature, I realize that not everyone is paying that close attention to me and what I'm wearing, so as I mature I'm realizing that re-wearing a party dress is not that big of a deal. Even Princess Katherine is re-wearing outfits and she, according to Inside Edition, is the most photographed women in the world... and it reasons to stand because she was photographed outside of Englands' idea of a Wal-Mart with a cart full of groceries. When's the last time an entertainment reporter for Inside Edition talked about your affinity for Frosted Flakes????
I'm sticking to my guns about re-wearing too. I've already tried on the outfit of choice for this upcoming weekend and I feel confident that I can pull it off. And to reward myself with re-wearing I've treated myself to a new dress.
I know, I know.... I know what you are thinking... but I have a wedding coming up that is out of town and from what I'm hearing is going to be super dressed-down. No cocktail attire, no black tie optional... just a normal old fashioned wedding and unforunatley I really don't have many dressed-down-dressy-dresses. The one I own will be worn this weekend to the Engagment party for this very October wedding that is coming up. I think I found the winner at Anthropologie. It is a blue floral print silk slip dress and I think it is pretty awesome.
To make sure I can re-wear this dress I also purchased a waist hugging leather belt... I feel certain that I can belt this slip of a dress and throw a cardingan over the top to make it work appropriate. The right heels and sparkly accessories will make it "going-out" ready as well. Also I intend to wear this dress to my sister's rehersal and rehersal dinner. See! At least 3 different places to wear this 1 dress.
And for the record the outfit I'm wearing this weekend has been worn approximately 3 times, if I wear it this weekend, which I most certainly will!
Ha.
I rarely ever wear one of my dresses more than once. I blame it on proximity really... we socialize with the same people all the time, so once a dress is worn, it has basically been "seen" by everyone. As I mature, I realize that not everyone is paying that close attention to me and what I'm wearing, so as I mature I'm realizing that re-wearing a party dress is not that big of a deal. Even Princess Katherine is re-wearing outfits and she, according to Inside Edition, is the most photographed women in the world... and it reasons to stand because she was photographed outside of Englands' idea of a Wal-Mart with a cart full of groceries. When's the last time an entertainment reporter for Inside Edition talked about your affinity for Frosted Flakes????
I'm sticking to my guns about re-wearing too. I've already tried on the outfit of choice for this upcoming weekend and I feel confident that I can pull it off. And to reward myself with re-wearing I've treated myself to a new dress.
I know, I know.... I know what you are thinking... but I have a wedding coming up that is out of town and from what I'm hearing is going to be super dressed-down. No cocktail attire, no black tie optional... just a normal old fashioned wedding and unforunatley I really don't have many dressed-down-dressy-dresses. The one I own will be worn this weekend to the Engagment party for this very October wedding that is coming up. I think I found the winner at Anthropologie. It is a blue floral print silk slip dress and I think it is pretty awesome.
To make sure I can re-wear this dress I also purchased a waist hugging leather belt... I feel certain that I can belt this slip of a dress and throw a cardingan over the top to make it work appropriate. The right heels and sparkly accessories will make it "going-out" ready as well. Also I intend to wear this dress to my sister's rehersal and rehersal dinner. See! At least 3 different places to wear this 1 dress.
And for the record the outfit I'm wearing this weekend has been worn approximately 3 times, if I wear it this weekend, which I most certainly will!
Ha.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Britt's Doughnuts: Happiness & Magic...
And you're right. At this juncture in your life I bet you've had at least 400 or more doughnuts of various kinds, maybe more.
I myself, living just a short twenty minute drive to a Krispy Kreme store, I know the restorative beauty of a warm-out-of-the-fryer glazed doughnut. It is quite magical... but not quite.
I can say that because I know of a doughnut that is magical. So magical in fact that the Husband and I took an impromptu weekend trip to get a couple dozen of these doughnuts. Just a short 18 miles outside of Wilmington, North Carolina on the Carolina Beach boardwalk is a place called Britt's Doughnuts.
As soon as you step out onto the Boardwalk, above the smell of the salt air is this sweet, almost addictive, smell of Britt's. It is one of those smells that sort of takes you by surprise, mainly because even if you aren't hungry, as soon as that delightful smell floats over to your nose, you're hooked... you've just got to have one--or two or 12.
Saturday after lunch we headed down to the coast. A short hour and 15 minutes later we were sitting at the bar of Britt's doughnuts literally and figuratively eating a tiny piece of heaven. Steaming hot, but in a good way, the only kind of doughnut Britt's makes is glazed. No creme-filled, no sprinkles, or chocolate covered confections... and after tasting just one, you'll forget all about all those other kinds of doughnuts. The outside is crispy and sweet, irregular in a perfect kind of rustic-hand-made way, while the inside is tender and literally lighter than air. And because these doughnuts are so delicate, eating like 6 in one sitting is totally easy to do.
But back to the magic...
I'm fairly certain that these doughnuts could grow back a limb, never mind making you forget all about your troubles-- be it a horrific horror of a day or just the day-to-day stress of helping your sister plan an out-of-control wedding. These doughnuts remind me of what Ben Franklin once said about beer... Britts doughnuts "are proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
If you happen to find yourself on I-40 headed East, just run it till it ends... When you've gone past Wilmington and Monkey Junction and as far as land allows you'll be in Carolina Beach. Hit up the Boardwalk and just follow your nose. Trust me, you'll be glad you did.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Impossible? Maybe not...
Last night I put on my serious cooking apron, as promised and attempted to compete with years and years of country cooking by making the fabled recipe: Country Style Steak with Gravy.
To properly prepare Country Style Steak you are first going to have to purchase something called "Cube" Steak. It is basically a cheap cut of meat that has been run through some sort of tenderizer machine. You'll need about 1 and half pounds for a family of four.
The first step is to beat your meat (not what you think) by placing plastic wrap on the counter, then the meat and covering with another piece of plastic wrap. This will cut down on the mess completely. With a mallet or a rolling pin, beat the meat to help tenderize it. Do not skip this part.... you will regret it!
After tenderizing, cut into smaller pieces and season with salt and pepper. Once seasoned you will lightly bread in flour. I used just plain ole' flour. I fried the meat in about a half a cup of vegetable oil on medium high heat.
This is what it should look like after you have fried the cube steak. Now... for the hard part. Gravy!
You'll need about three tablespoons of flour and about a third of a stick of butter, melted. Nothing about gravy is healthy, so be warned. While the butter is melting you will need to remove all the oil and grease from the frying pan. You will need to leave the drippings. I couldn't find an easy way to do this... so I used Bounty Paper Towels to soak up the grease. It worked well for me and this way I didn't have to pick up my heavy pan and try to balance it over a cup in my sink without burning myself.
After removing the grease and the butter is melted, combine the melted butter with the flour. Make sure that the flour is completely dissolved into the butter. No lumps, no clumps... it should be a nice rue or like a paste.
Then you've got to add the rue to the drippings with a cup of water and whisk, whisk, whisk. Heat the mixture slowly until it gets thick... which for me didn't take long and I ended up adding another half a cup of water to thin out the gravy.
Then add the rest of the meat back into the pan and cover. Simmer the gravy mixture for around 20 minutes.
I served the Country Style Steak with Gravy over a bed of long grain rice. My green vegetable was string beans and because the Husband loves yeast rolls, I pulled a few out of a bag and popped them in the oven.
My meal was a big hit. The gravy was good... the only thing I messed up was the rice-- having never cooked plain rice before I accidentally salted the water and that left us with an overly salty meal. Next time... no salt!
The first step is to beat your meat (not what you think) by placing plastic wrap on the counter, then the meat and covering with another piece of plastic wrap. This will cut down on the mess completely. With a mallet or a rolling pin, beat the meat to help tenderize it. Do not skip this part.... you will regret it!
After tenderizing, cut into smaller pieces and season with salt and pepper. Once seasoned you will lightly bread in flour. I used just plain ole' flour. I fried the meat in about a half a cup of vegetable oil on medium high heat.
After removing the grease and the butter is melted, combine the melted butter with the flour. Make sure that the flour is completely dissolved into the butter. No lumps, no clumps... it should be a nice rue or like a paste.
Then add the rest of the meat back into the pan and cover. Simmer the gravy mixture for around 20 minutes.
Then plate it:
My meal was a big hit. The gravy was good... the only thing I messed up was the rice-- having never cooked plain rice before I accidentally salted the water and that left us with an overly salty meal. Next time... no salt!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Attempting to Do the Impossible: Country Style Steak with Gravy...
Tonight is the night. I'm going to put on my serious cooking apron and I'm going to make possibly one of the most iconic Southern meals there is. I'm going to try to make Country Style Steak with Gravy.
What's the big deal? I'll tell you...Everyone around these parts grows up eating this very dish. And everyone grows up thinking that their grandma's or their mama's Country Style Steak is the best. For this very reason I have perfected such recipes as "Blackened Chicken with Penne Pasta and Alfredo Sauce" because neither of my Grandmothers ever made anything remotely like homemade Alfredo sauce. I don't like to compete if I know I can't win.
But the other night the Husband and I were sitting down to eat in our brand new kitchen when I asked him what he would like for supper. I could tell he wasn't too excited about eating my take on a chicken fajita. He told me wanted "normal" food... fried pork chops, country style steak, mashed potatoes. Food that I simply don't cook.
So last week while at the grocery store I purchased all the things he mentioned. Exactly a week ago I made bone-in, extra thick fried pork chops with mashed potatoes. I even made his favorite cupcakes for good measure. It was one of the best meals I've ever made for him and Husband was pleased.
With my confidence boosted I have decided to try my hand at the dreaded Country Style Steak with Gravy. I'm worried about the gravy part. Gravy is a hard thing to master and since I've never made it before... we wll see.
Stay tuned!
What's the big deal? I'll tell you...Everyone around these parts grows up eating this very dish. And everyone grows up thinking that their grandma's or their mama's Country Style Steak is the best. For this very reason I have perfected such recipes as "Blackened Chicken with Penne Pasta and Alfredo Sauce" because neither of my Grandmothers ever made anything remotely like homemade Alfredo sauce. I don't like to compete if I know I can't win.
But the other night the Husband and I were sitting down to eat in our brand new kitchen when I asked him what he would like for supper. I could tell he wasn't too excited about eating my take on a chicken fajita. He told me wanted "normal" food... fried pork chops, country style steak, mashed potatoes. Food that I simply don't cook.
So last week while at the grocery store I purchased all the things he mentioned. Exactly a week ago I made bone-in, extra thick fried pork chops with mashed potatoes. I even made his favorite cupcakes for good measure. It was one of the best meals I've ever made for him and Husband was pleased.
With my confidence boosted I have decided to try my hand at the dreaded Country Style Steak with Gravy. I'm worried about the gravy part. Gravy is a hard thing to master and since I've never made it before... we wll see.
Stay tuned!
Friday, July 15, 2011
I Hate Being Right All the Time...
On days like this I hate being right all the time. A few days ago I predicted that my "sometimes-monthly-friend" would be making an unwanted visit. She showed up about 5:00pm yesterday.
Today I went to the RE's office for my baseline ultrasound, and just like from the first failed cycle I'm full of cysts. And having 5 large cysts on my ovaries means that for the next month or so Husband and I are out of the baby making game.
I'm disappointed. I'm a complete Type A person and I was really hoping to knock "making baby" off my list before I go back to work. Now it looks like I'll be back at work while we try for a family.
Now I'm thinking I probably should let my boss in on the game plan. As long as I'm taking the fertility drugs, I'll have to be monitored which means I'll be missing some work. I think it would take a lot of the guilt and stress off of me if he was aware of the situation. He is young with two small children and a wife with her on set of health issues, so he is more than understanding when it comes to these sort of matters.
Honestly, now that Husband and I are in the dream home, we both are little more anxious and a lot more ready to have a baby. I think most people in our situation would understand.
In the meantime, I'm going to take this month to enjoy the rest of the summer vacation I've got left. I'm also going to focus a little more energy into getting my house in order. There are tons of things that need to happen to get my house up to snuff.
I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason and when the time is right, a baby will happen. In the meantime I've got business ventures, actual work, and my house to keep my thoughts busy.
Today I went to the RE's office for my baseline ultrasound, and just like from the first failed cycle I'm full of cysts. And having 5 large cysts on my ovaries means that for the next month or so Husband and I are out of the baby making game.
I'm disappointed. I'm a complete Type A person and I was really hoping to knock "making baby" off my list before I go back to work. Now it looks like I'll be back at work while we try for a family.
Now I'm thinking I probably should let my boss in on the game plan. As long as I'm taking the fertility drugs, I'll have to be monitored which means I'll be missing some work. I think it would take a lot of the guilt and stress off of me if he was aware of the situation. He is young with two small children and a wife with her on set of health issues, so he is more than understanding when it comes to these sort of matters.
Honestly, now that Husband and I are in the dream home, we both are little more anxious and a lot more ready to have a baby. I think most people in our situation would understand.
In the meantime, I'm going to take this month to enjoy the rest of the summer vacation I've got left. I'm also going to focus a little more energy into getting my house in order. There are tons of things that need to happen to get my house up to snuff.
I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason and when the time is right, a baby will happen. In the meantime I've got business ventures, actual work, and my house to keep my thoughts busy.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Excitment...
I woke up this morning and I was enveloped in dread. Sometime in the middle of the night I was awoken to the worst stomach cramps I've ever experienced. I'm guessing that means that my sometimes-monthly visitor is on her way. Here's to waiting...
So I woke up this morning less than thrilled at the prospect of no baby and more shots, medicine, and tests. I was really hoping that this month would be the month. I joke, often, with my friends that I should have gotten pregnant when I was 16. It is hilarious in a sick little way that I spent my mid-to-late teens and twenties worried to death that I would fall pregnant only to find out at the age of 27 that bringing a life into the world is going to more difficult that I had ever imagined. And to think about all those weeks when I was a total mess because of a late period!
Jokes on me.
I had errands to run today. I had to carrying stuff to the bank and pay a water bill... so I found myself in the car and I hate driving in the car with nothing to do but listen NPR so I called my friend Olivia. And now we are going into business!
She's a fabulous photographer and the best friend a girl could want. I'm a creative person with great vision and no outlet who complains about my lack of outlet on a semi-regular basis. So during our conversation we stumbled onto the crazy idea of starting a one-stop-shop event planning business.
I'm so excited at the prospect of working with a great friend, making other people happy, and at the same time making a little extra money.
This is going to be good.
So I woke up this morning less than thrilled at the prospect of no baby and more shots, medicine, and tests. I was really hoping that this month would be the month. I joke, often, with my friends that I should have gotten pregnant when I was 16. It is hilarious in a sick little way that I spent my mid-to-late teens and twenties worried to death that I would fall pregnant only to find out at the age of 27 that bringing a life into the world is going to more difficult that I had ever imagined. And to think about all those weeks when I was a total mess because of a late period!
Jokes on me.
I had errands to run today. I had to carrying stuff to the bank and pay a water bill... so I found myself in the car and I hate driving in the car with nothing to do but listen NPR so I called my friend Olivia. And now we are going into business!
She's a fabulous photographer and the best friend a girl could want. I'm a creative person with great vision and no outlet who complains about my lack of outlet on a semi-regular basis. So during our conversation we stumbled onto the crazy idea of starting a one-stop-shop event planning business.
I'm so excited at the prospect of working with a great friend, making other people happy, and at the same time making a little extra money.
This is going to be good.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Fertility Good News...
After weeks of researching IVF and PCOS and all sorts of other three and four letter acroymns for several weeks, I had resigned myself to the fact that once the new cycle started, I would no longer be what I considered a simple case of infertility.
Two weeks to the date after my last appointment, the appointment where the doctor cancelled my cycle and gave me a quick run down on what IVF was and why it was my best option, I had another appointment with my main RE.
Nervous, yet mentally prepared for what lay ahead, the Husband and I walked into my doctor's office and took our seats in the chairs in front of his desk.
He laid out the options and to my surprise he wasn't pushing IVF. In fact he felt that after only completing one cycle he didn't think that we were ready for IVF. I was relieved. The money alone was causing me great stress and then couple that with all the procedures... I was a wreck. I couldn't really believe what I was hearing, but I was glad.
He told me that he wanted to try things really slow. Once the new cycle started then we would do 7 days of injections and then go back in for monitoring and bloodwork and that would let us know what to do next.
And so far so good. After 7 days of injections I went back into the doctors' office for monitoring on Monday. At that time I had no huge follicles and my estrogen levels were low. My dosage was pushed up slightly and when I went back in on Wednesday my follicles were getting close to being mature. My estrogen levels were increasing steadily but were in normal range. I was kept at the same level of medicine and on Friday I went in for another monitoring visit.
On Friday I had one mature follicle and two others that looked like in the next day or two they also would be ready. So last night we got to do the trigger shot of HCG. I'm a little worried about how I'll react to the HCG. Last time it made me sick... like super duper sick. Looking back on it I think I was a little overstimulated. I gained over 5 pounds of fluid and looked like I was several months pregnant. It was awful, especially knowing that in the end it didn't result in the news we wanted.
I'm hoping because we've all been so cautious with this cycle, I won't have the same reaction as I did last time.
Send the good thoughts and prayers our way. Now we just have to wait and see what happens. I'm not the most patient person in the world, but I've always been told, good things come to those who wait.
Wish us luck!
Two weeks to the date after my last appointment, the appointment where the doctor cancelled my cycle and gave me a quick run down on what IVF was and why it was my best option, I had another appointment with my main RE.
Nervous, yet mentally prepared for what lay ahead, the Husband and I walked into my doctor's office and took our seats in the chairs in front of his desk.
He laid out the options and to my surprise he wasn't pushing IVF. In fact he felt that after only completing one cycle he didn't think that we were ready for IVF. I was relieved. The money alone was causing me great stress and then couple that with all the procedures... I was a wreck. I couldn't really believe what I was hearing, but I was glad.
He told me that he wanted to try things really slow. Once the new cycle started then we would do 7 days of injections and then go back in for monitoring and bloodwork and that would let us know what to do next.
And so far so good. After 7 days of injections I went back into the doctors' office for monitoring on Monday. At that time I had no huge follicles and my estrogen levels were low. My dosage was pushed up slightly and when I went back in on Wednesday my follicles were getting close to being mature. My estrogen levels were increasing steadily but were in normal range. I was kept at the same level of medicine and on Friday I went in for another monitoring visit.
On Friday I had one mature follicle and two others that looked like in the next day or two they also would be ready. So last night we got to do the trigger shot of HCG. I'm a little worried about how I'll react to the HCG. Last time it made me sick... like super duper sick. Looking back on it I think I was a little overstimulated. I gained over 5 pounds of fluid and looked like I was several months pregnant. It was awful, especially knowing that in the end it didn't result in the news we wanted.
I'm hoping because we've all been so cautious with this cycle, I won't have the same reaction as I did last time.
Send the good thoughts and prayers our way. Now we just have to wait and see what happens. I'm not the most patient person in the world, but I've always been told, good things come to those who wait.
Wish us luck!
Friday, July 1, 2011
I've Been Missing in Action, But I've Got a Good Excuse...
Like the title says, I've been missing in action. And this time I've got a great excuse. Somewhere in the second week of June our house passed inspection, the power was turned on and we were free to move our belongings. Thus began the 3 week siege.
Let me just say that I hate moving.
At this point I think that most everyone associated with our move hates moving as well. This hatred extends also to service people, including a poor Indian woman from Dish Network. Four years of marriage resulted in days and days of our belongings being carted from one house to the next. Beyond the feelings of being violated, my life is in great disarray.
Last week or day 4 of the move I had to leave the dream house for a short period of time because I was about to cry because I couldn't find a post-it pad to write my grocery list on. In fact I couldn't find any type of paper to write on. Maybe it was the fertility drugs coursing through my body or the fact that the Hubster's family, God love them, had seen my entire messy life-- underwear and all-- laid out in boxes and drawers before them had me on the edge of reality.
Think about it, would you want your in-laws moving drawers of your undies?
I never intend on moving again. It has been one of the least rewarding experiences in my life to date.
Slowly things are starting to find a place. Slowly the little kinks of living in a brand new home are being worked out. Slowly I'm adjusting to the new... and I think the Hubster and Buddy are too.
I'll hopefully be posting pictures of the new house as well as filling you in on some of the details that went into making the dream house the dream house.
Let me just say that I hate moving.
At this point I think that most everyone associated with our move hates moving as well. This hatred extends also to service people, including a poor Indian woman from Dish Network. Four years of marriage resulted in days and days of our belongings being carted from one house to the next. Beyond the feelings of being violated, my life is in great disarray.
Last week or day 4 of the move I had to leave the dream house for a short period of time because I was about to cry because I couldn't find a post-it pad to write my grocery list on. In fact I couldn't find any type of paper to write on. Maybe it was the fertility drugs coursing through my body or the fact that the Hubster's family, God love them, had seen my entire messy life-- underwear and all-- laid out in boxes and drawers before them had me on the edge of reality.
Think about it, would you want your in-laws moving drawers of your undies?
I never intend on moving again. It has been one of the least rewarding experiences in my life to date.
Slowly things are starting to find a place. Slowly the little kinks of living in a brand new home are being worked out. Slowly I'm adjusting to the new... and I think the Hubster and Buddy are too.
I'll hopefully be posting pictures of the new house as well as filling you in on some of the details that went into making the dream house the dream house.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Being a Grown-up...
At this very moment I'm really hating being a grown-up. I walk around my school and I am almost envious of those clueless little children roaming the halls. They have no idea that when you grow up everything changes... and not always for the best.
First of all, I'm really hating dealing with other adults... namely, the ones at US Cellular. I want to make my cell phone bill cheaper and they are basically telling me there is no way to make it cheaper. I find that really hard to believe. But as an adult I'm surrounded by other adults and in turn I have to act civilized. I can't run and hide behind my parents legs when they start to talk to me... I can't pretend to be so involved in my Nintendo GameBoy that I didn't hear what was going on around me. I can't pout until I get my way... and it sucks.
Second of all, being adult means that there is never enough of anything... mostly time and money. I don't know where it all goes??? I remember being like 7 years old with a stash of money from birthdays and grandparents and it lasting forever. Seriously, I'd have a birthday in October and I'd still have cash from that same birthday well into the next birthday. As an adult I make lots of money (comparatively to then) and each month, before I know it is basically all gone... and it sucks.
Same way with time. Used to, it took forever for the end of a school year, Christmas and my birthday. Now, I just blink and all those things happen. Back when I was 7, 365 days was pure torture. Now, 365 days-- 365 days barely feels like six months. The days go by faster too. What's up with that?
Once you are grown up you have deal with things you never would have dreamed about as a kid... bills, paint colors, appliances, procreating... cleaning up-- the whole house, not just your room. Just today I went by the new house to check up on the metallic paint that is going in the dinning room. Right now it is a disaster. The painter doesn't speak English well, he couldn't understand what I was saying. I did manage to hear him say something about a second coat... and I'm hoping (praying about paint seems like a waste of God's time) that it comes out okay. I was so distracted that I barely noticed the new refrigerator that seems to be breaking the cabinet that surrounds it.
See what fun being an adult is??? Nothing but worries upon worries.
I'm thinking that if they ever come up with a cure for being a grown up I'll be the first in line... unless it involved losing your mind.
Tomorrow will be better. These short weeks really mess with me :(
First of all, I'm really hating dealing with other adults... namely, the ones at US Cellular. I want to make my cell phone bill cheaper and they are basically telling me there is no way to make it cheaper. I find that really hard to believe. But as an adult I'm surrounded by other adults and in turn I have to act civilized. I can't run and hide behind my parents legs when they start to talk to me... I can't pretend to be so involved in my Nintendo GameBoy that I didn't hear what was going on around me. I can't pout until I get my way... and it sucks.
Second of all, being adult means that there is never enough of anything... mostly time and money. I don't know where it all goes??? I remember being like 7 years old with a stash of money from birthdays and grandparents and it lasting forever. Seriously, I'd have a birthday in October and I'd still have cash from that same birthday well into the next birthday. As an adult I make lots of money (comparatively to then) and each month, before I know it is basically all gone... and it sucks.
Same way with time. Used to, it took forever for the end of a school year, Christmas and my birthday. Now, I just blink and all those things happen. Back when I was 7, 365 days was pure torture. Now, 365 days-- 365 days barely feels like six months. The days go by faster too. What's up with that?
Once you are grown up you have deal with things you never would have dreamed about as a kid... bills, paint colors, appliances, procreating... cleaning up-- the whole house, not just your room. Just today I went by the new house to check up on the metallic paint that is going in the dinning room. Right now it is a disaster. The painter doesn't speak English well, he couldn't understand what I was saying. I did manage to hear him say something about a second coat... and I'm hoping (praying about paint seems like a waste of God's time) that it comes out okay. I was so distracted that I barely noticed the new refrigerator that seems to be breaking the cabinet that surrounds it.
See what fun being an adult is??? Nothing but worries upon worries.
I'm thinking that if they ever come up with a cure for being a grown up I'll be the first in line... unless it involved losing your mind.
Tomorrow will be better. These short weeks really mess with me :(
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Adventures in Infertility...
Wednesday morning started off great. I woke up around my usual time. I got a quick shower, brushed my teeth, fixed my hair and put on make-up. I had a quick conversation with the Hubster about my super causal attire. Apparently he had forgotten that I had my monitoring appointment with the RE. I was going to take a half day from work... I'd come home after the appointment and change into work wear. On Monday when I was in the doctor's office for yet another monitoring appointment I didn't do so well with the blood drawing. Word of advice-- always drink plenty of water before someone tries to draw your blood.
So to make sure I was plenty hydrated I purposely scheduled my next appointment for Wednesday to be at 8:45am instead of 7:30am. Plenty of time to drink a lot of water...
After many weeks of these monitoring appointments, I know the drill. Sign in, wait for your name to be called, strip down from the waist and wait for the probe followed by bloodwork. And after several weeks I was used to the nurses and the doctors talking about how impressive my ovaries are... so when the friendly nurse called in the doctor because she wasn't sure what to do next... I didn't really know what to think.
The doctor came into my room. It was the same doctor that told me about two months ago that we'd have to start doing the injections. He sat down and started counting my follicles. In a perfect cycle there would only be about 3 follicles to count. I stopped looking when he had well over 20. Most of them them were mature, the only problem was that there were so many of them. He looked scared and that made me feel scared. When he stopped counting he let me sit up so we could really talk.
He didn't want us proceeding with this cycle. Besides the risk of overstimulating my ovaries, which is potentially life threatening and most certainly would be a reality if we continued with this cycle, he didn't want me to end up with multiples. Because I'm petite I'd most certainly have to look at selective reduction if I were to become pregnant with multiples and that was a position he did not want to put me and the Hubster in. I simply do not have the space to accommodate that many babies, period.
When I asked what was next... he took a deep breath and said, "I really hate to even mention this... but you would be a great candidate for IVF."
I hated hearing it as much as he hated saying it. But he had valid points. Besides the cost being out-of-this-world expensive, and of course insurance doesn't cover such treatments, the risk of multiples beyond twins is very slim... the fact that I produce lots and lots of potential eggs is great because in IVF you want to produce lots and lots of follicles... and the success rate is around 60%. Due to my being young and healthy, he felt this was the best option.
He even mentioned, which I thought was a little weird, that I'd be a great egg donor as well. He said, "couples would want your eggs. You are attractive, petite, healthy... it would also cut down on the cost of IVF."
So now I have an appointment with my normal RE doctor in two weeks to discuss IVF and any other treatment options.
Now, I'm sure you are all reading this and thinking, wow, she is really calm about all this... I'd be a wreck. Trust me when I say I was a complete and total wreck. I cried all the way home and off and on for most the day. This was not what I had imagined for myself... even though I knew, and always have known, that getting pregnant was not going to be easy.
I took the rest of the day off at my friend Olivia's advice. I laid around all day and did nothing but watch TV and try to rest. But instead I found myself researching IVF and my doctor's office's ranking in the state. Apparently I go to the third best RE office in the state when it comes to IVF. The other two offices are much further away.
Since Wednesday I've talked to a friend at work that has gone through it all while she and her husband were on their 7 year journey of infertility. She, herself, was a recipent of donor eggs through the IVF proceedure which resulted in her beautiful twins. I'm much better now. I'm starting to look at this in a positive way. God has a plan for me and the Hubster. And no one yet as said that I can't have children. All positive.
Although, I agree with the Hubster... it is crazy that I'm too fertile to continue with this cycle. I never thought that would happen.... not in a million years!
So to make sure I was plenty hydrated I purposely scheduled my next appointment for Wednesday to be at 8:45am instead of 7:30am. Plenty of time to drink a lot of water...
After many weeks of these monitoring appointments, I know the drill. Sign in, wait for your name to be called, strip down from the waist and wait for the probe followed by bloodwork. And after several weeks I was used to the nurses and the doctors talking about how impressive my ovaries are... so when the friendly nurse called in the doctor because she wasn't sure what to do next... I didn't really know what to think.
The doctor came into my room. It was the same doctor that told me about two months ago that we'd have to start doing the injections. He sat down and started counting my follicles. In a perfect cycle there would only be about 3 follicles to count. I stopped looking when he had well over 20. Most of them them were mature, the only problem was that there were so many of them. He looked scared and that made me feel scared. When he stopped counting he let me sit up so we could really talk.
He didn't want us proceeding with this cycle. Besides the risk of overstimulating my ovaries, which is potentially life threatening and most certainly would be a reality if we continued with this cycle, he didn't want me to end up with multiples. Because I'm petite I'd most certainly have to look at selective reduction if I were to become pregnant with multiples and that was a position he did not want to put me and the Hubster in. I simply do not have the space to accommodate that many babies, period.
When I asked what was next... he took a deep breath and said, "I really hate to even mention this... but you would be a great candidate for IVF."
I hated hearing it as much as he hated saying it. But he had valid points. Besides the cost being out-of-this-world expensive, and of course insurance doesn't cover such treatments, the risk of multiples beyond twins is very slim... the fact that I produce lots and lots of potential eggs is great because in IVF you want to produce lots and lots of follicles... and the success rate is around 60%. Due to my being young and healthy, he felt this was the best option.
He even mentioned, which I thought was a little weird, that I'd be a great egg donor as well. He said, "couples would want your eggs. You are attractive, petite, healthy... it would also cut down on the cost of IVF."
So now I have an appointment with my normal RE doctor in two weeks to discuss IVF and any other treatment options.
Now, I'm sure you are all reading this and thinking, wow, she is really calm about all this... I'd be a wreck. Trust me when I say I was a complete and total wreck. I cried all the way home and off and on for most the day. This was not what I had imagined for myself... even though I knew, and always have known, that getting pregnant was not going to be easy.
I took the rest of the day off at my friend Olivia's advice. I laid around all day and did nothing but watch TV and try to rest. But instead I found myself researching IVF and my doctor's office's ranking in the state. Apparently I go to the third best RE office in the state when it comes to IVF. The other two offices are much further away.
Since Wednesday I've talked to a friend at work that has gone through it all while she and her husband were on their 7 year journey of infertility. She, herself, was a recipent of donor eggs through the IVF proceedure which resulted in her beautiful twins. I'm much better now. I'm starting to look at this in a positive way. God has a plan for me and the Hubster. And no one yet as said that I can't have children. All positive.
Although, I agree with the Hubster... it is crazy that I'm too fertile to continue with this cycle. I never thought that would happen.... not in a million years!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Losing My Mind...
For the last few weeks I've been teaching 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders relaxation techniques to help them do their best on the upcoming End-of-Year testing our State mandates.
I feel like such a fraud. I'm anything but relaxed these days.
It all started around Easter. Clay the Genius, our contractor, really recommended glazing our painted cabinets to compliment our cherry stained cabinets. The Hubster was a little tentative on the whole idea, but I was all for it. Glazing! How complicated could it be?
So off we went to see the cabinet maker. To put it mildly, he wasn't excited. But since the customer is always right-- experts were called in. And then experts' experts were called in.
The final product was a new cabinet that had an antiqued appearance. I loved it. The cabinet maker tolerated it... the Hubster, hopefully is tolerating it.
But before all the toleration was a nervous breakdown. I cried, I yelled, I pouted. It was all very unbecoming of me. Of course I did this, the bad behavior, in the privacy of my home. The problem... I've lost the ability to visualize and when I came to the new house and saw this...
And I started to get better. I started to calm down. Things were looking up. Today I went to my new house to check the progress and this is what I saw...
Needless to say that I'm more than pleased. Now... I just have to pick knobs and handles!
Pray for me :)
I feel like such a fraud. I'm anything but relaxed these days.
It all started around Easter. Clay the Genius, our contractor, really recommended glazing our painted cabinets to compliment our cherry stained cabinets. The Hubster was a little tentative on the whole idea, but I was all for it. Glazing! How complicated could it be?
So off we went to see the cabinet maker. To put it mildly, he wasn't excited. But since the customer is always right-- experts were called in. And then experts' experts were called in.
The final product was a new cabinet that had an antiqued appearance. I loved it. The cabinet maker tolerated it... the Hubster, hopefully is tolerating it.
But before all the toleration was a nervous breakdown. I cried, I yelled, I pouted. It was all very unbecoming of me. Of course I did this, the bad behavior, in the privacy of my home. The problem... I've lost the ability to visualize and when I came to the new house and saw this...
I was less than excited. This was not what I had asked for... and for whatever reason I couldn't get past it. I couldn't picture the final product.
But the following week this happened:
And I started to get better. I started to calm down. Things were looking up. Today I went to my new house to check the progress and this is what I saw...
Pray for me :)
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Refrigerator Wars...
The day before the Hubster's 29th birthday I had a diva moment. Over the refrigerator. Earlier in the evening we had rode over to the cabinet maker's shop to go over details of our cabinetry. Our cabinet maker is pretty much an expert and very technical... so I have to pay a lot of attention to what he is saying to try to keep up with what he is suggesting. A few years ago the Hubster decided that he wanted to learn how to make cabinets, so he spent a couple weeks learning how over at this shop. My husband and the cabinet maker speak the same language... apparently.
So I'm listening to him explain how the mantle piece over the cook top will be however many inches wide and that because of the width that would mean that we wouldn't have enough space for the spice rack that we wanted and so on. And then he mentioned that the refrigerator that we had bought was going to stick out about 5 or 6 inches from the cabinet. And that is where I put everything on pause.
What? The refrigerator was supposed to be counter-depth. The Hubster looked confused. I swear sometimes he blocks out time in his mind. He didn't remember anything about a counter-depth refrigerator. In fact he doesn't even remember talking about buying a refrigerator. I assure you, the appliance man and I had a long conversation about the importance of a counter-depth refrigerator.
I immediately say, "well, it is still in the box. It is going back!" and then the Hubster looks at me like I've lost my mind. He says, "Who cares if it sticks out?"
I'll tell you who cares-- I do. And for that matter, the cabinet maker did too...
I text the contractor as soon as we get home who immediatley calls me. He says he'll get it fixed in the morning. The Hubster went outside to smoke a cigeratte and talk to the dog, something he does a lot since we started building this house.
I'm not sure he still gets it. He kept saying, "but a counter-depth one is much smaller than what we've got? Don't you want more space?"
In a perfect world, more space would be ideal. But this is not a perfect world. Kitchens do need to function, but they also need to look good. I guess because I wear my 3 and 1/2+ heels every single day of my life, I learned that lesson long ago... function and style do not always speak the same language. Sometimes you've got to give up on one for the other.... and style always-- always wins out.
So I'm listening to him explain how the mantle piece over the cook top will be however many inches wide and that because of the width that would mean that we wouldn't have enough space for the spice rack that we wanted and so on. And then he mentioned that the refrigerator that we had bought was going to stick out about 5 or 6 inches from the cabinet. And that is where I put everything on pause.
What? The refrigerator was supposed to be counter-depth. The Hubster looked confused. I swear sometimes he blocks out time in his mind. He didn't remember anything about a counter-depth refrigerator. In fact he doesn't even remember talking about buying a refrigerator. I assure you, the appliance man and I had a long conversation about the importance of a counter-depth refrigerator.
I immediately say, "well, it is still in the box. It is going back!" and then the Hubster looks at me like I've lost my mind. He says, "Who cares if it sticks out?"
I'll tell you who cares-- I do. And for that matter, the cabinet maker did too...
I text the contractor as soon as we get home who immediatley calls me. He says he'll get it fixed in the morning. The Hubster went outside to smoke a cigeratte and talk to the dog, something he does a lot since we started building this house.
I'm not sure he still gets it. He kept saying, "but a counter-depth one is much smaller than what we've got? Don't you want more space?"
In a perfect world, more space would be ideal. But this is not a perfect world. Kitchens do need to function, but they also need to look good. I guess because I wear my 3 and 1/2+ heels every single day of my life, I learned that lesson long ago... function and style do not always speak the same language. Sometimes you've got to give up on one for the other.... and style always-- always wins out.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Pin Cushion Crock-Pot...
Since I don't respond to any of the easy oral medication that would make me ovulate, the Hubster and I decided to be brave and just see if I would respond to the hard stuff. The injections. Little shots of hormone... hormone I would find out that is made from urine, something I don't like to think about much.
So on day 14 or so of my cycle, after crying all the way home from Raleigh... I decided to be brave and let the Hubster inject me. Was I upset about not responding???-- No...it was the thought of having to have a shot.
In all my panic... I forgot that part of his job is to give injections to baby pigs... so I was taken aback when he took the needle from my shaky hands a few days later and started to mix up the drug. He had the whole process down pat. I was the basket case.
Generally he is the one that faints when he sees blood, especially human blood in large quantities. He is after all, the man that cut his finger, passed out and hit his head on the edge of his mother's kitchen island because of all the blood coming from his hand and had to be rushed to the emergency room for stitches for not only his hand but also his head. He is after all, the man that has to go outside and smoke a cigarette and lay down during his volunteer fire meetings when they show graphic training videos.
He just picked up that needle and headed straight for me. Of course I got up and ran around in place. Nervous. I walked around the house taking deep breaths as the Hubster just sort of cocked his head to the side and stared at me like I was crazy.
I got the courage to lay down on the couch. Since the injection had to be in my stomach area anyway, that was probably the safest position. I put on my sunglasses, don't ask why... thanked God I had a little bit of extra skin and fat to squeeze so maybe, just maybe the shot wouldn't hurt too bad. And before I knew it, I was stuck. And it was over. And I was fine.
A few days and a few injections later I was to go back to the doctor to see if anything had changed. Nope. Nothing. I started to worry that I was permanently broken. But the nurse told me that this was normal. Considering that I had lots of little follicles in my ovaries, they had to go low and slow with the drugs or else we could be looking at another Octomom.
Low and Slow? Where I have I heard this before. Oh yeah, a million times while watching the Food Network. Apparently I'm a crock-pot.
So on day 14 or so of my cycle, after crying all the way home from Raleigh... I decided to be brave and let the Hubster inject me. Was I upset about not responding???-- No...it was the thought of having to have a shot.
In all my panic... I forgot that part of his job is to give injections to baby pigs... so I was taken aback when he took the needle from my shaky hands a few days later and started to mix up the drug. He had the whole process down pat. I was the basket case.
Generally he is the one that faints when he sees blood, especially human blood in large quantities. He is after all, the man that cut his finger, passed out and hit his head on the edge of his mother's kitchen island because of all the blood coming from his hand and had to be rushed to the emergency room for stitches for not only his hand but also his head. He is after all, the man that has to go outside and smoke a cigarette and lay down during his volunteer fire meetings when they show graphic training videos.
He just picked up that needle and headed straight for me. Of course I got up and ran around in place. Nervous. I walked around the house taking deep breaths as the Hubster just sort of cocked his head to the side and stared at me like I was crazy.
I got the courage to lay down on the couch. Since the injection had to be in my stomach area anyway, that was probably the safest position. I put on my sunglasses, don't ask why... thanked God I had a little bit of extra skin and fat to squeeze so maybe, just maybe the shot wouldn't hurt too bad. And before I knew it, I was stuck. And it was over. And I was fine.
A few days and a few injections later I was to go back to the doctor to see if anything had changed. Nope. Nothing. I started to worry that I was permanently broken. But the nurse told me that this was normal. Considering that I had lots of little follicles in my ovaries, they had to go low and slow with the drugs or else we could be looking at another Octomom.
Low and Slow? Where I have I heard this before. Oh yeah, a million times while watching the Food Network. Apparently I'm a crock-pot.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Up-to-Date...
I've been a little lost lately... lost in my own little world of work, house building, party planning, birthdays... the fertility doctor's office. Just believe me when I say I've been too busy, too stressed out, and too uncomfortable to write anything about anything interesting that may or may not have been going on in my little life.
But I'm on Spring Break. One of the many perks of working for the school system and now that I'm finally feeling rested, I can catch everyone up on whats been going on.
March 26th was my sister's engagement party/karaoke bash at our Uncle and Aunt's house. My sister is in the middle, I'm in the blue one strap Tibi dress. The other girls in the picture, going left to right: our cousin Annah, our cousin Sarah, and our other cousin Audrey.
The end of March was a blur where the house was concerned. Things really started hopping-- not that they haven't been hopping all along. Soon after this party the siding and bricks went up... and the sheet rock... and then the flooring went in.
Not soon after the engagment party I was in Mosaic Tile picking out tile for the kitchen, back entry, laundry room, and baths agonizing over grout colors. I never knew grout came in all those colors. More and more I find myself overwhelmed with the decision making process. I keep saying, much like I did when I was getting married, "if this was anybody else's house, I'd have no trouble picking out colors."
Luckily my contractor has me working with the best in the business, so I feel like I'm getting expert advice when it comes to picking out things for the house.
The hardwood flooring is in the living room, dinning room and foyer. We have to pick the stain color, but we get choices... so I'm feeling very relaxed about that decision.
Today... in a half hour, I'm to meet with the contractor to talk closets. Hopefully I can get what I want. My contractor wasn't too excited about my decision to put some wallpaper in my foyer.
But I'm on Spring Break. One of the many perks of working for the school system and now that I'm finally feeling rested, I can catch everyone up on whats been going on.
March 26th was my sister's engagement party/karaoke bash at our Uncle and Aunt's house. My sister is in the middle, I'm in the blue one strap Tibi dress. The other girls in the picture, going left to right: our cousin Annah, our cousin Sarah, and our other cousin Audrey.
Besides a few awkward moments with Sarah's soon-to-be ex-boyfriend... I think a good time was had by all. I learned that my sister and her soon-to-be really love to sing... loudly, as does his brother and father. Best of all about the party... my friend Olivia and her husband were able to attend the gathering, which was great because I never get to see her or him.
The end of March was a blur where the house was concerned. Things really started hopping-- not that they haven't been hopping all along. Soon after this party the siding and bricks went up... and the sheet rock... and then the flooring went in.
Not soon after the engagment party I was in Mosaic Tile picking out tile for the kitchen, back entry, laundry room, and baths agonizing over grout colors. I never knew grout came in all those colors. More and more I find myself overwhelmed with the decision making process. I keep saying, much like I did when I was getting married, "if this was anybody else's house, I'd have no trouble picking out colors."
Luckily my contractor has me working with the best in the business, so I feel like I'm getting expert advice when it comes to picking out things for the house.
The master bathroom tile
The master bathroom shower and tub
The kitchen, back-entry, laundry room, and powder room tile.
And the upstairs bathroom tile.
Yesterday I got my mom to ride with me to Apex to pick out granite. Another hard decision, but again, my contractor has me in good hands. This is what I've decided on...
Giallo Ornamental Premium Granite.
The girl assures me that it is fabulous, true to the sample and has lots of movement. I'm very excited about the granite. In the last couple of weeks we've picked out applicances and decided on off-white and cherry stained cabinets for the kitchen. I think this piece of Earth will look great with those colors.... hopefully.
Today... in a half hour, I'm to meet with the contractor to talk closets. Hopefully I can get what I want. My contractor wasn't too excited about my decision to put some wallpaper in my foyer.
Generally, I hate wallpaper. I remember being about 7 years old and my mother removing all the wallpaper in the whole house and cussing and fussing the entire time. But I've decided that my dinning room will be metalic silver and my living room will be neutral. Because metallic and neutral really don't live together in harmony, I found a wallpaper that will help make the transition and I'm really excited about it.
My contractor on the other hand... is not. He says that they never put wallpaper in a house under a million dollars and all his subs are outrageous in prices... but the Hubster assures me that he knows someone that can hang it-- practically free. And so, I'm not loosing hope just yet.
I think that brings everyone up to speed where the house is concerned. Hopefully I'll have more to write about soon. And if you have paint color suggestions, I'm open to all comments. I'm at a loss as to what to do... I'm going back to the paint store this afternoon to match colors to the wallpaper sample... so wish me luck.
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