We are back from vacation... just in time for work to get back started. My first day of the 2009-2010 school year starts on Friday. Surprisingly enough, I'm pretty numb to the idea of it. Normally by this juncture in my 8 week hiatus from work, I'm a complete wreck mourning the loss of my mornings in bed and watching bad TV for the majority of the day. But since I've been praying for my Y&R buddies as of late-- I think it's time for some structure (wouldn't you say so?)
Our vacations were interestingly dull, to say the least, except for the attempt against my life. The first few days were spent in South Carolina at Myrtle Beach with my in-laws and the last few days were spent in Atlantic Beach, North Carolina with my whole family (my uncle rents a beach house for a week each summer). Generally, the two trips do not fall within the same week, yet somehow, they did this time. I'm not complaining. Actually, it turned out for the best.
The first leg of the trip-- I found it to be a tad bit annoying. Myrtle Beach is a huge place with thousands of places to shop, millions of shows to watch, and most importantly, billions of unique restaurants to frequent. Yet, because of all these entertainment opportunities, Myrtle Beach becomes overrun with all sorts of people (mostly Yankee's that love to make fun of my Southern accent) which makes it almost impossible to enjoy the attractions unique to Myrtle Beach.
Never in all my life have I witnessed so many young boys wearing match stick jeans and skateboard shoes. While in one popular tourist trap (Broadway on the Beach), I spied a misguided young girl in a pair of skinny jeans that can only be described as the color "Highlighter Yellow." Her poor "friends" had abandoned her outside a Ben & Jerry's (probably out of embarrassment because how else would one lose the girl wearing day-glow yellow pants? or the flip side-- how easy to avoid her!)
What was more annoying than the crowds, was the rain. Not a day went by without some sort of mild to moderate extended rain shower. It rained us off the beach, it rained us out of the Tanger Outlets (by the way, don't waste your time at Kate Spade-- it's basically out of business), it rained us out of most everything we attempted. However, Hubby and I did manage to spend way too much money-- he fell for a pair of Maui Jim sunglasses and I got trapped in a dressing room with an over zealous sales girl and ended up with some very unneeded (but desperately wanted) swag. One day I'll have to write about the difference between a want and a need.
The second leg of our vacation was much more relaxing and it didn't rain, not once, while we were there (I was starting to worry it was us). Now, some people (my husband included) may think that my family (myself included) is a bit strange. Yes, it's true that the majority of us have no desire to ever be in water deeper than what ponds up in the tub while showering and it's true that we are basically okay to sleep late and lay around in our PJ's while on vacation. But that is the true beauty of my family on vacation-- anything (within reason) goes.
(my sister and her boyfriend trying to take a cat nap after eating breakfast)
My family, regardless of location, believes in food and eating (my uncle owns several restaurants and we all fancy ourselves fabulous cooks). Each morning we woke up to a beautiful and filling breakfast (pancakes, toast, biscuits, chocolate, grits, eggs, sausage, bacon, and ham) and at night an equally beautiful and filling meal would be prepared-- which is sort of crazy when you think about it-- after all, we are trying to look good in a swimsuit... aren't we? My sister says she gained six pounds on vacation (she stayed the entire week).
Speaking of swimsuits, there was some unsettling events that almost led to the end of my marriage. As mentioned a few paragraphs prior, I'm not a big water fan. I hate the water. I swim, but not well, and if I do get in the water, please, for the love of God and Jesus, please, just leave me alone! Don't try to pick me up, don't try to dunk me, don't even swim towards me... just stay away and don't touch or make eye contact with me. I thought my dear husband knew that I'm basically Autistic in the water but somehow, he forgot.
There I was, sitting on the pool step, minding my business, when Hubby came up, jerked me off the step as I made a futile attempt to cling to the rail. I felt the rough farmer hands of my husband prying my tiny fingers from the cold metal rail. I felt my body being pulled into the middle of the pool and suddenly I was under the water. Stunned, I began to breath which resulted in a sputtering and hysterical Emily gasping for air with an almost wardrobe-malfunction. And then I cried for about 30 minutes after that, quietly behind my large dark sunglasses, and reviewed which lawyer I would use to draw up my divorce papers. But luckily for Hubby, around that same time my cousin (who just turned 21) decided it was time to visit Aunt Betty's Cookie shoppe (the local ABC store) where he came back with enough liquor to calm my nerves and make everyone really, really happy and really, really sunburned.
So vacationing is over, back to reality, back to the grind. Next year my Uncle has his eye on a 10 bedroom place that looks like castle. I plan on packing my water wings and bodyguard for protection and who knows, maybe I can talk Hubby into wearing some Day-Glow Orange Matchstick pants in Myrtle Beach!
Oh...and not to harp on my near-death experience at the hands of my so-called loving husband, but don't tell me that Karma doesn't exist. Hubby came home with a horrible sunburn on his belly, just were his pants like to sit. He's been miserable for days and he just started to peal today. See what you get for messing with me!
No comments:
Post a Comment