Who Would Have Thunk It?...

I've mentioned it before, the Hubster and I are in the pre-process of building our "dream house."  We've got the plan all picked out and the artist rendering sits on our "re-claimed" coffee table as a reminder of such.  And currently, the land deed is at the lawyers' office being transferred into our name.  Needless to say, it is a very exciting time for us.

Recently, however, I've discovered that excitment can lead to anxiety.  I'll be walking along, minding my business and I'll start to worry, "Can we afford this?" or "Will we still be able to save money with a large house payment?" or better yet, "No more frivolous spending on shoes or tops or dresses once this house is built-- Goodbye, childhood, goodbye style!-- Hello tacky Christmas Sweathers and Teacher Jumpers!"

It is sad really-- you just can't have it all.

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  There's this man, Danny, that has offered to help us with getting things in order.  Who would have thunk it? 

To explain I'll have to take you back to three years ago, just after my wedding.

My cousin, Sarah, who is a mere three months older than me, had decided to start dating a man that was 25 years older than us.  He was weatlhy and connected. And our Uncle, who is also wealthy and connected and the same age as this man, went ballistic.  So when they got engaged Christmas Eve night, three years ago, it created a problem in my family.  A little dysfunction, if you will.

I'll never forget walking into my Grandma's house, Christmas Night, to the sounds of yelling and people crying under the carport.  The Hubster and I had just left a very tranquil scene at his grandmother's home, expecting to find my rowdy bunch gathered around the Christmas tree and finishing up dessert. 

Instead, my cousin Sarah was no where to be found.  My Aunt, the mother of Sarah, was at home crying while her other daughter, Annah was crying under the carport with my Daddy.  My Grandma, who loves Sarah the most, was yelling at my Uncle.  She basically told him to get out and never come back.

He left with his wife and three children and a very confused and hungry boyfriend... poor Ashton.

The rift opened up all the hurt feelings that had been stowed under the surface for years.  I was instantly sucked into the maddness as well.  We all were.  I was angry with Sarah and I couldn't understand why she was so determined to ruin things.  Years of repressed feelings and anger bubbled to the surface.  I was convinced that she was nothing but selfish.  It didn't help that she had treated my friends badly during my "Girls' Weekend" at Wrightsville Beach-- three weeks before my wedding. I was not interested, at the time, in understanding what she was going through.

But one night-- not that long ago-- I decided to just let go of the anger and the hurt and move on-- to forgive.  The anger I was feeling towards Sarah was not healthy and it was starting to run my life.  So one night, I just let it go.

My way of forgiving was to accept what was going on and acknowledge Sarah in this relationship through a party.  I was going to host a Bridal Brunch.  It would be a small gathering of family, here at my house.  We would dine on the porch surrounded by my knockout roses and gardenia bushes.  I had even ordered the cutest favors ever-- woven palm fans, in case the heat was too much for early June.  I was going to decorate my porch columns like May-Pole's... I was very excited to be able to host such a party.

The invitations were at the printers, the meeting with my rentals guy was all set up.  All that I was waiting for was a phone call with the guest list.

Instead, I got a call from my father, who happened to be on a fishing trip in Virginia.  He told me to stop planning the party-- the wedding was off.  The man had cancer.  Not just any cancer either-- Lung, Liver, and Bone.  That was back in May-- just a month before the wedding.

The wedding was called off and Sarah and this man started down the path of recovery.  Instead of talking about honeymoon destinations or flowers, they were talking Chemo and Radiation.  Sarah had to start keeping a time log of pain medications, instead of a wedding checklist.  Instead of Sarah and this man's name being printed in a wedding bulletin, his was printed in the 'prayers & concerns' section of our church bulletin.

Our Uncle, who was so against this wedding and union, found room in his heart to forgive as well.

This man is Danny.  Danny is involved in the construction world.  His father was a builder, his brother is a builder, and up until his sickness, he owned and ran a successful lumber yard.  He still is involved in this world and he has, so graciously, offered to help the Hubster and I with our home.

Last night, while celebrating the 23rd birthday of my cousin Annah, Danny mentioned his idea to my husband and me.

He doesn't have to do this, but he wants to.  He thinks we could save us some money-- which would be great.  He says he considers us family. 

Life is unpredictable and cruel sometimes.  You aren't promised anything.  Three years ago, I would have never thought things would have turned out this way.  I would never, not in a million years, have ever thought that my whole family would be gathered under one roof again.  I would have never believed that anyone, who had been treated so badly, could really turn the other cheek.

Forgiveness is an amazing tool that we all need to use more often and much sooner.  I wish now that I hadn't let my own petty feelings keep me from getting to know Danny and moving forward with Sarah.  I can't turn back time, but I can continue to make things right in the future.