And I Signed Up for This...

First of all, doctors can't count. Apparently I'm 7 weeks pregnant.  Last week at our 6 week visit with the RE, Dr. Park pointed out that I was officially 6 weeks and 2 days along. That was just about a week ago.  Husband was excited and later at McDonald's said to me, "Can't we just start telling people now?  I mean, you're 6 weeks pregnant.  That is almost two months!" 

Hold, wait.   I quickly asked him to rewind 6 weeks.  Were we pregnant six week ago?  No.  In fact, 6 weeks ago, a week ago we were just starting our IVF cycle.  So don't get so excited, okay.

Regardless, something else happened six weeks ago... well days before I hit the six week mark to more accurate.  Morning sickness.  I hesitate to call it that, seeing how morning sickness really isn't exclusive to the morning time. It can strike at any moment at any time for any reason whenever it feels like it.  When it first hit, I didn't really know what it was.  I didn't think it would hit this early for some reason.

The majority of what I have experienced has been nausea mixed with a healthy dose of heartburn.  And to be graphic, prolonged nausea makes my stomach breakdown, which can be just as bad as vomiting.

Today was the first day in a long time that I had very little complaint and part of me started to think that all this junk might just be behind me.  Wrong.  As I type I feel the nausea and heartburn igniting. 

This is all linked to my eating habits.  Apparently growing baby means having to eat all the time.  I've seriously considered asking for a feeding tube as I'm the type of person that eats two big meals a day and maybe a snack.  If I ever get hungry, in comes the nausea.  I have to eat literally every one to two hours and even then that is not a guarantee that the nausea will stay away... I did everything right today and I'm starting to deteriorate... (I think , it is hard to tell really)

Lately I've taken to eating breakfast, then a snack, followed by lunch.  If lunch is big enough I can make it to about 4:30 for a quick run through the drive-through for a snack or mini-supper followed by a small supper sometime later on.  Last night I was eating crackers at 1:00am because my stomach felt empty.  And an empty stomach can mean hours of laying around on the bathroom floor.

I eat defensively.  And I hate it.

Who knew that growing a person would be so draining?  I have to have an afternoon nap between mini-supper one and mini-supper two and then most nights I'm falling asleep on the couch by 10:30pm.

The toothbrush is a real bitch, mostly at night.  Last night, after getting a shower I brushed my teeth and then had to lay on the cool tile floor until the urge to up-chuck passed... wet hair and only wearing a towel.  It is a sad state of affairs... let me tell you.

And to think that a seven weeks ago we forked over a butt load of cash to actually get me in the position.  What were we thinking?

Everyone keeps telling me that this will pass and hopefully it will sooner than later.  I can take pain.  I can take torture.  Nausea is a whole different kind of story... I'm trying to hang in there.

I still can't believe that I willingly volunteered for this...