Wedding Woes...

(photo from the day-- taken by Swank Photo Studio)

Just a little over two years ago, after several years of dating, my husband and I finally made it official. We were married in June, during a rather perfect weather day-- the kind of days you don't get that much in Eastern North Carolina. It didn't rain, which was lucky because summer days tend to produce severe thunderstorms (which would have been just awful considering we were having an outdoor reception). Most importantly, I do not recall an overabundance of humidity that day, which is virtually unheard of down this way.



A year and a half went into planning the blessed event. In reality it was more like a year and a half of arguments, tears, and yelling with my mother over decorations, flowers, food, dresses, and most importantly, money. For my mother and me to be so similar in most regards, when it comes to spending money, especially her money, she is all practicality to my sense of whimsy.

Nothing about my husband is whimsical. When my father would offer us money to "just forget the big wedding and run down to South Carolina" for a quickie ceremony, my husband would seriously consider it. I could just see what he was thinking, "just think of all the money and trouble we'd be saving!" It became such a big joke that my wedding was putting my family into the poor house, that one of my daddy's friends put a begging jar up at the local store/hangout for everyone to see.

My sister, during this time of planning, earned herself a nickname, "the Axe." On the day of my wedding portraits, after picking up my bouquet from the florist and hating everything about it (how hard is it for a florist to make an all Calla Lilly bouquet???) and then crying all the way to Duke University for my photo shoot (not mention I participated in a little bit of yelling at my mother for making me use that florist in the first place-- I'm generally not so bratty) it was determined that my sister would pretend to be me and would fire the florist over the phone, for a fee, of course. From that day forward she was put in charge of dealing with all the wedding vendors.

Actually, I was surprised that I found planning my wedding stressful. After all, I'm the kind of girl that really loves to plan things. And from the moment I met my now husband I had dreamed of all the fun I'd have planning our big day. But instead, I got really tired of worrying over seat configurations and food. And I lost the ability to make a decision, which I used to be very good at. Every thought in my head, regardless of what was going on, would somehow wonder back over to the wedding-- which wasn't good seeing how I was in my next-to-the-last semester of grad school and was preparing for my Comprehensive Written Exam!

But I'm nothing if not reasonable (mostly). I began to remember what my favorite psychology professor in undergrad would say when he was giving out advice about weddings-- not to me necessarily, as I was not engaged, nor close to being married, but in general-- sort of life advice for the whole class. He would say something to the effect of: a wedding is just one day, the marriage comes after the wedding. It's the days after that count.

At the time the advice didn't mean much to me. Yet, once that ring was firmly on my ring finger and all sense had gone out the window, those words were like a beacon of light pulling me safely ashore and out of the crazy ocean that is the wedding business-- a place where wedding wands and custom garters are a must have... where fancy dresses and new idea are of life and death importance... where having the perfect wedding is the only thing that counts. Those words calmed me down (along with a very small dose of anti-anxiety medication) and allowed me to get on with my life.

Christmas Card Photo Shoot 2008

And what a wonderful life its turning out to be.