Some Friendly, Unsolicited Wedding Advice-- Series One...

Our anniversary was Wednesday.  We didn't do anything too special for it though.  I had gone for my yearly physical earlier in the day and I was still not over the "physical" part of the phyiscal.  I was unlucky enough to get "handled" by a student doctor who gave me the most painful PAP smear of my life and one of the most uncomfortable examinations I ever hope to encounter while my doctor watched me uncomfortably react. Sounds a little sadistic doesnt' it?   I'm not sure I'm over it yet.  I close my eyes and suddenly I'm transported back to that very long and uncomfortable experience.  I still feel like I have been violated.  But don't feel too bad for us-- the Hubster and me-- we aren't all that into celebrations anyway.  Hopefully this Fall, when things are less stressful, we'll take a little weekend trip to celebrate. (maybe-- I always say that's what we'll do and we never do!)

But I digress.  Thinking back to my wedding, I'd like to offer some friendly, unsolicited wedding advice to any of you in the process of planning a wedding yourself.  I'll call this series one:

It is important that all brides get that "silly" idea out of their heads.  The silly idea I speak of, you ask?  Well, that idea that your wedding day is your day.  As much as it is your day, it is also several other's people's day as well.  Your parents, his parents, your bridal party and most importantly, your invitied guests are spending a great deal of time and money on your wedding and you should treat them well because of that. 

When you take away the ceremony, which truly is for you and your groom, the reception is what is left and it really is a time to treat your guests and bridal party.  It is a time to give back while expressing your style as a couple for the first time.

It is in poor taste when a newly married couple will not allow guests to enter the buffett line before they arrive at the reception because they want to be the first in line.  A few years ago I was invited to my cousin's wedding.  Her parent's had put on a huge spread and had really spared no expense.  When the ceremony ended we were directed a few miles down the road to their home for the reception.  They had the hot DJ of the moment playing soft "cocktail hour" type music and guests were filling in the reception area, except there was no cocktail hour.  Thirty minutes went by and people were milling about... another thirty minutes went by and people were growing a tad restless... another thirty minutes went by and people were hungry and looking for food, but because the bride and groom were not quite finished with the photographer, we were trapped like starving animals in this large reception area with nothing to do.

I remember being angry as I watched that newly married couple start the line for the buffett-- like those eager young kids always do at the family reunion...it was simply tacky. I remember being annoyed and I left shortly after.  Later, a few month after the ceremony I heard my cousin's mom remarking that she couldn't understand why more people hadn't stayed longer.  I knew why-- they were hungry and didn't want to wait any longer for old shrimp cocktail and crab puffs.

If you aren't going to have a cocktail hour-- then start the buffett as soon as possible and don't think that you have to be the first in line.  The reception is a time for you to talk to guests, mingle-- pose for the camera and get complimented on your style and grace. 

Most importantly, being a bride is not just about putting on the white dress and veil.  It is about being a gracious host.  So treat your guests and make them feel comfortable.  If food is your thing-- have the caterers set aside plates for your and your new husband.  This way you will be able to still eat the food you picked out, but won't have to make 200 of your nearest and dearest wait for you to finish other tasks-- like getting your wedding pictures made-- something you are going to not want to skimp on because you will look back at the pictures-- I don't know that you will the food.

So as you start to plan, remember to take out that idea-- that your wedding day is all about you.  In actuallity, it is largely about you and the choices you made for this event.  However, do you want people's first impression of you as a married person to be that of a selfish and spoiled primadonna?

Better yet, show your guests-- your nearest and dearest-- how greatful you and your new husband are to have them celebrate your love and your new status as a married couple.  You want people to leave your wedding thinking, "WOW" and feeling like they were a part of the moment and simply not spectators to the "ME, ME, ME" show.

Series Two :  DJ vs. Band-- Is one really better than the other?